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Not really a quote, but those seinfeld quotes made me think of it.
KRAMER: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
GEORGE: That's unbelievable!
KRAMER: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
GEORGE: You ran?
KRAMER: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."
GEORGE: Holy cow!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy - " - knocked him out cold!
GEORGE: How could you do that?!
KRAMER: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
GEORGE: You're Batman.
KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?
KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
GEORGE: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?
KRAMER: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
GEORGE: You did all this...for a pinky toe?
KRAMER: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
"They proved that if you quit smoking it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet." -Bill Hicks.
"You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. 'Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years — rrreal ******* high on drugs. The Beatles were so ******* high they let Ringo sing a few tunes."
"One can't love man without hating most of the creatures who pretend to bear his name."
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
– P.J. O'Rourke
Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.
– Barry Goldwater
If you are not free to choose wrongly and irresponsibly, you are not free at all.
– Jacob Hornberger
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
– H.L. Mencken
The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
– Herbert Spencer
Beer is living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy
Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity.
Do whatever you will, but first be such as are able to will
We should consider every day lost on which we haven't danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which is not accompanied by atleast one laugh.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
"I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction."
"his view of the world was simple: there were the able and there were the incompetent; he was not concerned with the latter."
He's sayin the past is always with us, and where we come, what we go through, how we get through it; all this **** matters. I mean that's what I thought he meant. Like at the end of the book you know boats and tides and all, it's like you can change up, right, you can say you somebody new, you can give yourself a whole new story, but what came first is who you really are and what happened before is what really happened, and it don't matter that some fool say he different cause the only thing that make you different is what you really do, what you really go through. Like, you know, like all the books in his library, now he fronted with all them books but if we pulled one off the shelf aint none of the pages ever been open. He got all them books and he aint read one of them. Gatsby, he was who he was and did what he did, and because he wasn't ready to get real with the story, that **** caught up to him.
"Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whomever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya."
"He failed in business in '31. He was defeated for state legislator in '32. He tried another business in '33. It failed. His fiancee died in '35. He had a nervous breakdown in '36. In '43 he ran for congress and was defeated. He tried again in '48 and was defeated again. He tried running for the Senate in '55. He lost.The next year he ran for Vice President and lost. In '59 he ran for the Senate again and was defeated. In 1860, the man who signed his name A. Lincoln, was elected the 16th President of the United States. The difference between history's boldest accomplishments and its most staggering failures is often, simply, the diligent will to persevere."
If this is too political please take it down, but this whole thing is so ******* inspiring.
My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends - it gives a lovely light.
The smallest and most consistently abused minority is the individual.
Why Would you ever be jealous of someone named Beatrice
Being a pimp is different than being a lumberjack.
Stanley Motss: The President will be a hero. He brought peace.
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: But there was never a war.
Stanley Motss: All the greater accomplishment.
-Wag the Dog
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: What difference does it make if it's true? If it's a story and it breaks, they're gonna run with it.
-Wag the Dog
Conrad 'Connie' Brean: We're not gonna have a war, we're gonna have the appearance of a war
-Wag the Dog
Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest ************ in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.
Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest ************ in the world. The position is taken.
-Neil Stephenson's "Snow Crash"
"You don't respect those people very much, Y.T., because you're young and arrogant. But I don't respect them much either, because I'm old and wise."
-Uncle Enzo, Neil Stephenson's "Snow Crash"