whoops nvm

That conference thing is just the ultimate proof that some people have far too much time in this world.

Not sure I've seen Ducks labelled as a beautiful bird before, not sure that Game Cocks really fits that either and I'm not sure when the Lion left the Panthera family either, otherwise, pretty good.

That said, Alabama would be loving life, they might lose to Stanford once every 10 years or so but really they shouldn't even think about losing until the conference champs each season!

meh, looks ok to me. they even demoted CU to 1aa.

Yes, because I want to be attached to an alarm while the building around me is burning. But I'm sure a fireman will come to unlock my skeleton arm after I have burned to death.

ink on your arm is gonna prevent you from fleeing a burning building?

No. The picture in question shows a device that latches onto your arm, holding you at the alarm until a fireman or police officer unlocks it with a key.

Really? I looked it up it does non of that.

Why would you look it up? He's just going by the picture in question, and the caption clearly explains it locks your arm until a policeman or fireman unlocks it.

if you don't get the reference, listen to niggas in paris by jay-z and kanye

Is anyone else tired of those autocorrect jokes? 99.9% of those are fake and they're not funny to begin with.

What are you talking about? Clearly auto correct would change a nonsense word like "pencil" into *****.

...or **** into fructose. Most of them are so unbelievable that they're not even remotely funny, they're just stupid. Every once in a while I will see one that's pretty funny, but that's becoming more and more rare.

I had to turn my auto correct off because it would change the F word to things like duck and such. It was really obnoxious actually.

believe it or not, i've gotten the **** to fructose when i had an iphone. but i do agree they're ******* stupid and obvious setups

Hedberg i miss you :(

I saw a wino eating grapes, I told him dude, you have to wait.

Pants hold up the belt, the belt holds up the pants. Who is the real hero here.

Hedberg nostalgia dump:

only funny thing that's ever happened to me with autocorrect was Much (I was starting sentence with capital M) changed to Muhammad.

Well now I'm both laughing hysterically and crying. Mitch :'(.

“Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. God damn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right.”

“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”

“I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.”

This isn't exactly a funny picture, but I stumbled upon it when I was trying to find an update on Patrice O'Neal.. I figured I would post it.



Carry on.

60% of this list is fuckable.

Beastiality is a sin, Bos.

But what if he really really really wants to **** Mylie Cyrus?

I just assume people know what I'm talking about when I tell them to duck themselves.

one time I got drunk and took my friends phone, and planned on texting the sister of another friend saying "wanna ****?"

well, it turns out I was on the phone of the brother to that sister. so, the text (at like 3 in the morning) was "wanna duck?"

she responded, "why do you have a duck?"

Because on SWDC not only are are we knowledgable about football, but we're also duck experts.











I hope someone got that reference.

So you would duck 3.2 of the people on this list.

It was an epic thread. What did he name it?

This map is total crap. There's no way in hell those rich ******* would let us have all the warm +/- waterfront property.


Also, still my personal favorite of Mitch's work:

Through humor, you illustrate the very point of their protest.

i dunno, i don't think anyone actually wants the LA (state, not city) "coastline".

Yeah, the upper 10% definitely took the better coastlines.