Would not have used the term masturbation if that were the case...

I only use "may have" because I'm not convinced that it is the same person... I'm pretty sure a troll ate her and is wearing her skin as a prize. I like that explanation at least. On girls from that era, I think that Aguilera actually ate the troll...

Edit: Just saw njx posted this in the hot chick thread. I should've checked there first, haha.

who is that? and why are her lips moving so fast, also what is she saying?

a) doesn't matter

b) doesn't matter

c) doesn't matter

Its Olivia Wilde.

it's just so... mesmerizing.

You know, if I were a science teacher, I'd come up with some way to turn this into an experiment to explain evolution to kids.

The only flaw being that in the natural world, at times, many of those weaker M&M's breed with stronger ones as opposed to the consistent breeding of only the strongest candy in the bag.
You'd also have to find away around that one really smart kid in your class who would want you to explain, on the spot no less, how evolution differs from adaptation. That would probably lead to a lesson on micro-evolution and macro-evolution and before you know it, you have been called in to your Principal's office and you will have to explain to him/her as well as Little Johnie's mother as to why Little Johnie came home spouting off about how his ancestors lived in trees, which you never once discussed or even insinuated, and could get extremely messy depending on a whole slew of variables. Meanwhile, back in your class, that smart kid will have decided to trump your M&M's with a bag of "Jaw Breakers" he brought from home, and no, he probably won't bring enough to share with the whole class.
Yes, you will be blamed for his behavior and be further questioned about your classroom management strategies.

Which is why teachers all over this country decide to show the 5 minute video from United Streaming as suggested by the adopted text and use the M&M's as a reward for good behavior.

whoa, pump the breaks.

what is this evolootion you speak of?

I need to speed up my plans for taking over the world then. It is the only solution.

It was more of a teacher joke more than anything else. Brent, The Dude, and Shane will all see get it.

Additionally, I would have tweaked the process explained in the picture somewhat to make it more applicable.

But who are we kidding, me? a teacher? Ha. Not in this lifetime. I'm way, way, WAY too big of an argumentative asshole to get along with the people who runs schools.

If you didn't bring a joke for everybody then you shouldn't have brought a joke at all!

Oh, it's there, you may not have gotten it, but it is there.

Got it.

...and we no longer use United Streaming in our district... now we are uploading everything (notes, power points, smartboard applications, assignments, review sheets, lesson plans, quizzes, videos, and we can/should(?) even record/upload us teaching our lessons) that we do to "Safari Montage" so that we are much easier to replace.... even scarier now that the geniuses at the state legislature have passed an "anti-seniority" bill (along party lines of course) which will allow school districts to ignore tenure and basically fire who ever they want. Thank god we have an ultra-liberal governor who will probably veto this. I was not proud to vote for him, but i feel better about having him in office right now.

/rant

I used to have this far side tshirt. Loved that thing.

I really don't want to hijack this thread after yesterday's 10 pages of non-picture madness, but I'll risk it.

Being a teacher in this day and age has to be terrible. It's something I briefly considered once upon a time (being a history teacher) but decided never to pursue it. It's not that I don't think I could teach kids, it's that I absolutely could not put up with all of the other bull **** involved. (Parents, administration, government...)

That experiment has some bases but it has a lot of %error. See how does he know he is always applying that same equal force on each M&M? One hand may be applying greater point force then the other. There is a very simple machine that will help give him the same results and tell how much force is needed to break said M&M. Thus he can then plot his data accordingly on say an excel file and make a graph and then determine the trend line and come up with a simple equation or complex equation.

Hmmm this would have been an awesome idea for a lab I had a few semesters back.

I think you're overthinking it a bit. I was talking like an experiment for like, elementary school kids who are just being introduced to the idea. They could just spend some time smashing MMs until they have one strongest MM left and we can plot that data on the board. Like, the percentage of the color of the MM and if the MM had an usual shape or something, that would be a mutation that either helped or hurt it's chances of reproducing.

this is why you ensure that you begin only with juvenile m&ms and keep them strictly separated by sex. unless they reproduce asexually, in which case you'd just cage any offspring (carefully, so that if their parent is the ultimate survivor, you only kill the other 'children'). then you begin the tournament. only once it's through do you allow any reproduction. alternately, you also buy a bag of peanut m&m's and allow them to constantly cull the herd of weaker plain m&ms. that would largely ensure that, even if some ugly ***** of a green m&m hooked up with the strong, beefy brown m&m, their offspring would likely be hunted down and eaten relatively quickly, thus helping to ensure that the weakest genes aren't allowed to exist at anything more than an extremely recessive level.

also, you keep a large stick in your classroom, so that when some kid (this was me) is a smart ass, you can beat them with it.

ughh No talk. But I think its a general US cultural thing. The students in Asia/Africa and even parts of Europe know that with the way modern era is advancing you will need to have some form of education to make $$$. Sure there are the few out of like ba-zallions who don't go that route and make $$, but even they have at least a HS education.

We can't always be a blue collar society that we once were, but people can't accept that. There will be a need for blue collar workers but not to the extent of the industrial revolution to new deal to automotive boom. There will always be a need for the trade/skill sector but more and more companies would like to see some type of formal education. There are a lot more college grads then ever yes, so now to distinguish yourself you see masters degrees. Soon it'll be over populated with MBAs, MA and MS, though it may be 15-25 years off who knows?


ughh point when you stop caring at the HS level, no matter how hard the teachers try its not going to work.

also funnies

You know what I'm more curious of, not if they are strong or weak, but I wanna see them breed.

Sorry Beer BaRon, i went to engineering into it and not enough you know that other stuff.