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jballa838 11-19-2007 08:43 PM

If you had a time machine...
 
What are 3 things you would do?

Rules: You can achieve no monetary gain directly from this.
Here's mine:
1. Murder William Shakespeare.
2. Hang out with Walter Payton
3. Catch Barry Bonds taking steroids.

fischbowl 11-19-2007 08:45 PM

1. Party with Sidney Ponson
2. Stop V.I. Lenin from taking over my homeland.
3. Help The Dude Save The Day

Canadian_kid16 11-19-2007 08:52 PM

1. Personal Reason...
2. meet Jesus
3. go back and see how the Neanderthals lived or something

AlexDown 11-19-2007 08:55 PM

1. Have my parents teach me a second or third language when I was young.
2. Learn to play golf at an earlier age.
3. Start working out habits a lot earlier.

Chucky 11-19-2007 08:55 PM

1. Find out what the **** happened with JFK
2.See the Dinosaurs
3. Kill Hitler

cardsalltheway 11-19-2007 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jballa838 (Post 738280)
1. Murder William Shakespeare.

Quite the intellectual we have on our hands here.

1. Meet Jesus
2. Give Drew Brees' father a condom
3. Catch the '81 NC

saintsfan912 11-19-2007 08:57 PM

1. Hang out with Jim Belushi or Chris Farley (Try to stop that downward spiral)
2. Stop Huey P. Long from being assassinated. (Best governor LA has ever had and possibly would have been an even better president. Thank you for Tiger Stadium Huey!)
3. Kill Tom Benson and takeover the Saints before the many years of terrible decisions.

D-Unit 11-19-2007 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cardsalltheway (Post 738303)
Quite the intellectual we have on our hands here.

1. Meet Jesus
2. Give Drew Brees' father a condom
3. Catch the '81 NC

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

jballa838 11-19-2007 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cardsalltheway (Post 738303)
Quite the intellectual we have on our hands here.

1. Meet Jesus
2. Give Drew Brees' father a condom
3. Catch the '81 NC

those are good ones, but i hate shakespeare.
i forgot to mention i would take a dictionary to some guy and let him "invent the words"
i have to memorize a shakespeare sonnet by tomorrow and none have real words.

fischbowl 11-19-2007 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saintsfan912 (Post 738305)
1. Hang out with Jim Belushi or Chris Farley (Try to stop that downward spiral)
2. Stop Huey P. Long from being assassinated. (Best governor LA has ever had and possibly would have been an even better president. Thank you for Tiger Stadium Huey!)
3. Kill Tom Benson and takeover the Saints before the many years of terrible decisions.

Good choice. Go Tigers.

Bills2083 11-19-2007 08:59 PM

1. Convince my parents to let me play hockey, because I think that I'd be really good. My first and only time skating, I was as good as my friend who was playing for 5 years
2. Choose to learn Spanish instead of French (everything is in Spanish now)
3. See the dinosaurs (like Chucky said)

Wootylicous 11-19-2007 09:00 PM

1 - Learn to play hockey younger
2 - Hang out with Bill Gates
3 - Find Ossama

NYGibril28 11-19-2007 09:00 PM

I have a time machine, problem is, it only goes forward at regular speed. It's essentialy just a carboard box but on the side i wrote "Time Machine" in sharpie.

YAYareaRB 11-19-2007 09:03 PM

1. Be a Patriots fan
2. Become an Actor
3. Become a Rapper

cardsalltheway 11-19-2007 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jballa838 (Post 738312)
those are good ones, but i hate shakespeare.
i forgot to mention i would take a dictionary to some guy and let him "invent the words"
i have to memorize a shakespeare sonnet by tomorrow and none have real words.

Eh, a lot of people do and I wasn't a big fan before, but once you get used to how its written, its great stuff.

Moses 11-19-2007 09:07 PM

I wouldn't do anything. Messing with the past would obviously mess with the future. You make the slightest change and who knows what happens. :D

jballa838 11-19-2007 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cardsalltheway (Post 738328)
Eh, a lot of people do and I wasn't a big fan before, but once you get used to how its written, its great stuff.

Well i dont really want to memorize a sonnet anyway, it is incredibly hard

Paul 11-19-2007 09:09 PM

1. Meet some relatives I've heard stories about since I was a kid.
2. Dinosaurs, got to see that.
3. Back to the Battle at the Alamo. Preferably from birds eye view.

Paul 11-19-2007 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYGibril28 (Post 738318)
I have a time machine, problem is, it only goes forward at regular speed. It's essentialy just a carboard box but on the side i wrote "Time Machine" in sharpie.


The Unseen 11-19-2007 09:10 PM

1. Meet Jesus
2. See the Immaculate Reception up close.
3. See who fired the first shot at Lexington/Concord.

JK17 11-19-2007 09:14 PM

1. Tar and feather Ryan Leaf
2. Remove all football influences in Norv Turner's life
3. Repeat Step #1

NYGibril28 11-19-2007 09:14 PM

Hey Paul, learn your Demetri Martin.

S4L 11-19-2007 09:16 PM

1. Accept Hitler into art school
2. Invest in Microsoft in 1980
3. See if Babe Ruth called his shot

Paul 11-19-2007 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYGibril28 (Post 738356)
Hey Paul, learn your Demetri Martin.

I don't care who said it. It's still lame

Edit: original comment was a bit much.

NYGibril28 11-19-2007 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul (Post 738378)
I don't care who said it. It's still lame

Edit: original comment was a bit much.

the original nature of the joke made it funnier


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