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Moses 11-20-2007 08:02 PM

The Philosophy of Sex
 
I got a good chuckle from this so I thought you all might enjoy it. It's from Digg but the original website is down (big surprise).

Quote:

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy


"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin


"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen


"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner


"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry


"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns


"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone


"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*****."
--Jack Nicholson


"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)


"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams


"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne


"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal


"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro


"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman


"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld


"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart


"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

7-11 11-20-2007 08:21 PM

hahaha, shooting pool with a rope, gold.

BucSappy 11-20-2007 08:52 PM

I find so much truth in these most awesomeness of quotes...but then when I go to the grocery store and you glance at the women's mags and they say things on them like "1781 ways to have better sex."

Chick logic: think one thing, do exactly the opposite.

brat316 11-20-2007 09:11 PM

I like the Barbara bush one, also the Last Robin Williams one

There is Truthness in these quotes

Moses 11-20-2007 09:58 PM

My favourite is probably Robin Williams' first one:

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

BrownsTown 11-20-2007 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moses (Post 739939)
My favourite is probably Robin Williams' first one:

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

It's funnier imagining him say it in a black preacher voice.

Paul 11-20-2007 10:43 PM

Ha, George Burn's "rope" quote was the best. Also props to Barbara Bush, didn't expect that.

Twiddler 11-20-2007 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul (Post 739996)
Ha, George Burn's "rope" quote was the best. Also props to Barbara Bush, didn't expect that.

Same here. You can't beat the rope but a First Lady discussing it is still pretty damn awesome.

diabsoule 11-20-2007 11:29 PM

All very funny

d34ng3l021 11-21-2007 01:10 AM

Digg is an amazing site.

Moses 11-21-2007 01:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d34ng3l021 (Post 740105)
Digg is an amazing site.

The future of news. :D

Paul 11-21-2007 08:30 AM

Aside from the Mac and Linux d*** riding by some of the users there, I love Digg.


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