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-   -   Prowler's Advice Thread (http://www.draftcountdown.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50588)

Prowler 01-16-2012 03:14 PM

Prowler's Advice Thread
 
Come inside, take your shirt off, and I'll help ease some of your troubles. I'll try and keep this as clean as I can.

*Warning, my advice may land you in jail or lead you to HPV and genital warts.

kalbears13 01-16-2012 06:26 PM

YES! Someone needs to ask something dammit.

Punisher 01-16-2012 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prowler (Post 2828647)
*Warning, my advice may land you in jail or lead you to HPV and genital warts.

Any chance you can do the opposite?


...of all 3

Prowler 01-16-2012 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Punisher (Post 2828849)
Any chance you can do the opposite?


...of all 3

I can tailor my advice to my clients' needs. I can provide Good, Neutral, and Bad with branches of lawful or chaotic on each. Besides, a lot of people go to jail, HPV is practically nothing, and warts fade. However, your awesome memories of events will never go away.

The_Dude 01-16-2012 07:02 PM

What can you do for Super Packer's itchy asshole? Apparently that thread closed before you got a chance to contribute.

I did get my new sig quote from it though. Sorry, CJ.

CJSchneider 01-16-2012 08:25 PM

He must have thought I was Brodeur or something.

MichaelJordanEberle (sabf) 01-16-2012 08:42 PM

If my girlfriend has a *****, does that make me ***?

Borat 01-16-2012 08:45 PM

When Tebow is "Tebowing," isn't he just praying to himself?

MetSox17 01-16-2012 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borat (Post 2829018)
When Tebow is "Tebowing," isn't he just praying to himself?

That pompous asshole.

Brent 01-16-2012 09:06 PM

What is essential, Prowler, to having a dope house party?

Borat 01-16-2012 09:14 PM

I'm not prowler, but I'd guess you'd need a house and a lot of dope.

Brent 01-16-2012 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borat (Post 2829056)
I'm not prowler, but I'd guess you'd need a house and a lot of dope.

dope is a slang adjective, you old bastard.

Prowler 01-16-2012 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Dude (Post 2828904)
What can you do for Super Packer's itchy asshole?

I did miss it, but I would recommend lots of butt sex, because its probably just his body's way of communicating that it wants more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelJordanEberle (sabf) (Post 2829015)
If my girlfriend has a *****, does that make me ***?

As long as she can pose as a girl then you're good. And maybe depending on how well the boob job went. However, most trannies that I know have athletic rears to help compensate. Its normally pretty awesome because a chick with a ***** is probably willing to do anything you want. As for the question, I would say that its definitely not ***. I just think of it as a girlfriend with different options.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borat (Post 2829018)
When Tebow is "Tebowing," isn't he just praying to himself?

I believe that he is a false god and a potential antichrist. He was sent here to draw attention away from the true god, the Sun. The Sun is what should be worshiped. That asshole needs to hold his arms up in the form of a circle and give true praise where praise is due. Without the Sun we'd all be freaking cold. I believe that Tebowing is just him siphoning power from his dark under-realm to recharge himself after his terrible dark magic displays.

CJSchneider 01-16-2012 09:26 PM

You spelled "Son" wrong.

Borat 01-16-2012 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent (Post 2829060)
dope is a slang adjective, you old bastard.

I ain't old son. I'm hip to the jive, ya dig?

Prowler 01-16-2012 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brent (Post 2829044)
What is essential, Prowler, to having a dope house party?

Essentials for a dope house party:

1. Location. It either needs to be near the country, or directly in the middle of a part of town where people are too scared to call the cops about anything.

2. Women. Who else is going to clean up the puke and do the dishes afterwards?

3. 90s Music. I want to hear nothing later than 90s music. Let all the little ******* kids squirm when they don't know what the hell the songs are. This also helps you impress the underage women that will most likely be attending your party.

4. Recruit a few high school kids to help. Hook them while they are young so that you can have buddies to replace the ones that will likely be killed during your parties.

5. Gun control. Make sure that you control the automatics and shotguns. Other people may bring handguns, but you have to stay in control of the situation.

6. Substances...lots of substances.

7. Horny dogs. Literally. Their humping will help set the mood for the women at the party.

8. A yard for people to piss on. Nobody likes bathrooms anymore.

9. Fire. Bonfire, torches, anything with a flame.

10. Swimming pool filled with ________. Jello, Kool Aid, beer, water, whatever. Its just a stage that gives hoes a chance to be hoes.


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