Funny Pictures Thread - Page 1021

ImBrotherCain · 09-19-2012, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeerBaron

I'd just quit life if my car were that saturated with spiders. Who needs to drive anyway?

I would make a medieval style torch and set the web on fire... then resume my life.

If the car explodes... well it was a lost cause any way.

Prowler · 09-19-2012, 10:21 AM

I'm not afraid of spiders, but I'd freak the **** out if I had them on me. I'd way rather walk through the web than lick nutsack. I wouldn't regret the spiders until after I was already covered with them.

Rosebud · 09-19-2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeerBaron

I'd just quit life if my car were that saturated with spiders. Who needs to drive anyway?

Yep, I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself right then and there. I've been getting a lot better with spiders, don't freeze up just from seeing them anymore, but god damn it that would kill me. I have a friend who used to live in texas and one night she went out to her car and when she turned on the lights, saw that there was a spiderweb drapped right across her driveway with a spider the size of her fist sitting in the middle, right at face height, not a foot in front of the car needless to say I never visited her after hearing that story.

BeerBaron · 09-19-2012, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImBrotherCain

I would make a medieval style torch and set the web on fire... then resume my life.

If the car explodes... well it was a lost cause any way.

No, they could escape the fire. I think I'd roll in a couple cans of those bug misters while I dual wield cans of Raid for any that try to escape and give the longest, most guttural primal scream I can muster.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Yep, I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself right then and there. I've been getting a lot better with spiders, don't freeze up just from seeing them anymore, but god damn it that would kill me. I have a friend who used to live in texas and one night she went out to her car and when she turned on the lights, saw that there was a spiderweb drapped right across her driveway with a spider the size of her fist sitting in the middle, right at face height, not a foot in front of the car.

That is like my greatest nightmare. For where I live, the spiders that freak me out the worst are wolf spiders. Fuzzy, super-quick grayish ones that range in size from about a quarter to the palm of your hand....I've seen two in my life of the latter size. One was on the outside window of my apartment my senior year of college. I unloaded about half a can of spray on him until he was just covered in white foam, yet he still kept crawling away...I got a chill just thinking about it. If that ************ were on the INSIDE of the window, I would have been finding a new place to live.

StripedWalrus · 09-19-2012, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeerBaron

No, they could escape the fire. I think I'd roll in a couple cans of those bug misters while I dual wield cans of Raid for any that try to escape and give the longest, most guttural primal scream I can muster.

That is like my greatest nightmare. For where I live, the spiders that freak me out the worst are wolf spiders. Fuzzy, super-quick grayish ones that range in size from about a quarter to the palm of your hand....I've seen two in my life of the latter size. One was on the outside window of my apartment my senior year of college. I unloaded about half a can of spray on him until he was just covered in white foam, yet he still kept crawling away...I got a chill just thinking about it. If that ************ were on the INSIDE of the window, I would have been finding a new place to live.

Unfortunately Raid doesnt work on wolf spiders. Generally I have only seen the larger ones in wooded areas around streams and ponds and such. They scare the crap out of me. I have had a couple smaller ones in the house lately. Two to be exact, and killed them both. I find, since they are so fast, that spraying them with hairspray first to slow them down and then stabbing them with an improvised weapon such as a fork tied to a stick works really well in killing these bastards.

This leads me to the scariest thing I have ever seen. Once at work there was a giant spider web stringing from lamp post to lampost...like 15 feet. So we got some raid like substance and sprayed it all over the web and spider. When we did so this giant spider turned into 100's of little baby spiders....I couldnt stop itching for weeks.

BeerBaron · 09-19-2012, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedWalrus

Unfortunately Raid doesnt work on wolf spiders. Generally I have only seen the larger ones in wooded areas around streams and ponds and such. They scare the crap out of me. I have had a couple smaller ones in the house lately. Two to be exact, and killed them both. I find, since they are so fast, that spraying them with hairspray first to slow them down and then stabbing them with an improvised weapon such as a fork tied to a stick works really well in killing these bastards.

This leads me to the scariest thing I have ever seen. Once at work there was a giant spider web stringing from lamp post to lampost...like 15 feet. So we got some raid like substance and sprayed it all over the web and spider. When we did so this giant spider turned into 100's of little baby spiders....I couldnt stop itching for weeks.

Raid works, it just takes a bit. And yeah, if you hit a mother that was carrying her young on her....you get the spiderling explosion. I've had that happen a couple of times too.

The other giant wolf spider I saw was along the creek behind my house. During the summer, me, my brother and my cousin would play down there and pile rocks to build "dams." We were doing that one day when all the sudden my cousin shouts and jumps like 3 feet out of knee deep water onto the bank and runs like 20 feet away. I'm like "what's wrong?" and he points to where he was and right along the bank is a huge ******* wolf spider that was on top of the rock he was trying to pull out.

Needless to say, we stopped playing in the creek for a while....

Rosebud · 09-19-2012, 11:18 AM

Can we please stop talking about spiders? This is undoing a lot of positive steps I've taken over the past few years.

Prowler · 09-19-2012, 11:26 AM

What if you lifted the homeless guy's nutsack and there were cobwebs under it and a giant spider living down there?

StripedWalrus · 09-19-2012, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Can we please stop talking about spiders? This is undoing a lot of positive steps I've taken over the past few years.

Do you have a fork taped to an end of a stick?

Forenci · 09-19-2012, 02:18 PM

I hate spiders as well, but it's very odd with me. Maybe other guys are like this but I will run like a small child away from a spider if I see one crawling near me but when my girlfriend sees one and freaks out and asks me to kill it I don't have a problem with it.

My biggest fear when I go to kill a spider is that it will jump on me.

Bengals78 · 09-19-2012, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forenci

I hate spiders as well, but it's very odd with me. Maybe other guys are like this but I will run like a small child away from a spider if I see one crawling near me but when my girlfriend sees one and freaks out and asks me to kill it I don't have a problem with it.

My biggest fear when I go to kill a spider is that it will jump on me.

Im the same way. Even after I kill it Im usually fairly confident that there are about 1000000 bigger ones in hiding just using the smallest one to lure me out and kill it then they strike. So I usually avoid rooms where Ive killed a spider for a few hours.

Rosebud · 09-19-2012, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forenci

I hate spiders as well, but it's very odd with me. Maybe other guys are like this but I will run like a small child away from a spider if I see one crawling near me but when my girlfriend sees one and freaks out and asks me to kill it I don't have a problem with it.

My biggest fear when I go to kill a spider is that it will jump on me.

Well that's different. There you just have to take care of it and can't freak out, kinda like when you see a spider in your car when driving.

Wootylicous · 09-19-2012, 02:31 PM

I used to have a spider living in my truck. Took me a week to find it. I was driving and she just appeared right in front of my face. Took my literally two seconds to kill it. I was freaking out.

BeerBaron · 09-19-2012, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forenci

I hate spiders as well, but it's very odd with me. Maybe other guys are like this but I will run like a small child away from a spider if I see one crawling near me but when my girlfriend sees one and freaks out and asks me to kill it I don't have a problem with it.

My biggest fear when I go to kill a spider is that it will jump on me.

I used to have my parents/brother/roommates/whoever was around kill them for me but now that I live by myself, I feel like I have to defend my own turf.

My favorite method is to hit them with some Raid (I keep a can in every room) and then set the can on top of them for a while until I'm sure they're dead.

Still freaks me out badly though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Well that's different. There you just have to take care of it and can't freak out, kinda like when you see a spider in your car when driving.

That is one of my parents' greatest fears with me is that one will get into my car. It kind of happened once not long after i got my first car. It didn't have AC so I drove with the windows down all the time, and a small-to-medium sized gangly looking spider made a web around my side view mirror. I noticed it as I was driving hanging on by a thread. I was wearing a hat at the time and managed to smack it away but I'm not sure I took a breath that entire ride after that.

******* spiders....

Grizzlegom · 09-19-2012, 02:40 PM

Not gonna lie, reading through this is hilarious. I like spiders and would definitely walk through that spider thing before licking a homeless man's nutsack (although I do hate walking into spiderwebs...). I find wolf spiders inside the house a lot although they are usually already dead since my cat hunts any and every insect/arachnid that enters the house. The ones that are alive are almost always found by the woman and she freaks out whenever she sees one and asks me to kill it. I always catch them and take them outside.

ImBrotherCain · 09-19-2012, 02:42 PM

Its kind of comforting to realize that there are people like BeerBaron out there. His intense fear/hatred of spiders makes me seem like a ******* Superhero.

So thank you good sir.

jrdrylie · 09-19-2012, 02:51 PM

I walked through a spider web while taking my dog for a walk the other day. I flipped my ****. I live near a mountain and there are a lot of woods around me so I get a lot of spiders, especially in my bathroom. I vaccum those bitches up so it's no big deal and they don't scare me if I see them. But if I get one on me or I walk through a web, I lose it.

I had a friend who was deathly afraid of spiders once. He lived down the street from me and his girlfriend was at his house. They saw a spider and both were too scared to kill it so they called me. I killed the spider but what I should have done is stolen his girl because he was to big of a ***** to deserve an attractive female.

Raiderz4Life · 09-19-2012, 03:12 PM

What a bunch of pansies!! Scared of spiders lmao

KCJ58 · 09-19-2012, 03:37 PM

this is a funny picture thread, not female group session

vidae · 09-19-2012, 03:52 PM

****. Spiders.

eaglesalltheway · 09-19-2012, 04:00 PM

You guys need to nut up. Spiders aren't bad at all unless they have fangs. Then I keep clear. Wolf Spiders ar absolutely harmless, BB. I hike a trail that becomes nothing but small rocks once you reach to peak of the mountain and there are hundreds of wolf spiders, and all they do is disperse when they feel the vibrations of you walking. Nothing to be scared of with spiders except the chemicals that certain ones can inject into you. Be afraid of that, not spiders, lol.

phlysac · 09-19-2012, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eaglesalltheway

You guys need to nut up. Spiders aren't bad at all unless they have fangs.

Now THIS is funny!

MetSox17 · 09-19-2012, 04:13 PM

I got bit by a spider over my eye a few weeks ago. Got a nice, quarter sized swollen ball over a few days over my eye. Eventually got tired of seeing the swelling so i sanitized my pocket knife and i rambo'd that ****. Cut it and drained it, just kept cleaning it with neosporin and alcohol for the next couple of days and it eventually healed. Wasn't that bad, just really annoying.

eaglesalltheway · 09-19-2012, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

Now THIS is funny!

I've only seen fangs on a spider once, and it was after I got up close to it because I'd never seen one before. Obviously once I saw the fangs I kept my distance and killed it with my shoe.

BeerBaron · 09-19-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eaglesalltheway

You guys need to nut up. Spiders aren't bad at all unless they have fangs. Then I keep clear. Wolf Spiders ar absolutely harmless, BB. I hike a trail that becomes nothing but small rocks once you reach to peak of the mountain and there are hundreds of wolf spiders, and all they do is disperse when they feel the vibrations of you walking. Nothing to be scared of with spiders except the chemicals that certain ones can inject into you. Be afraid of that, not spiders, lol.

Irrelevant when you have a phobia. No matter how many times someone tells me that they're harmless, I lose the ability to think logically when one is around. A phobia makes your fight-or-flight kick in when it's not needed and you panic.

One of my biggest fears is someone coming at me with a real spider. I would hurt them and I wouldn't be controlling myself during it.