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Old 07-11-2013, 04:14 PM    (permalink
BallerT1215
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really? i've never had an issue with being blunt about things like that with girls.
Sometimes they react nicely.....until the first argument after...It will get brought up pretty quickly don't you worry.
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:32 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes they react nicely.....until the first argument after...It will get brought up pretty quickly don't you worry.
His next post in here will be about being unable to figure out why she flipped out over him misplacing the remote or something.
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:36 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes they react nicely.....until the first argument after...It will get brought up pretty quickly don't you worry.
but that's never happened...i dunno, it just never would.
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:42 PM    (permalink
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Has she tried spin class? Doesn't matter how great your athleticism is, that will kick your ass if you have a good instructor.
She used to spin early in our relationship. She hasn't done those classes in some time. Probably around the time she started to gain a little weight...
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:13 PM    (permalink
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but that's never happened...i dunno, it just never would.
SP, as the one who saved your life I feel a certain responsibility for you, but at the same time, this'll be too funny so just keep doing what you've been doing.
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:13 PM    (permalink
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Well if she actually wants to lose weight I don't see the issue in you telling her what is going to help her lose weight.
Interesting thought, but there are interpersonal politics going on here. At a high level, anyone who eats proper portions and exercises more will lose weight. We have identified the portion issue and are using food scales and stopped buying whatever unnecessary sweets we had before.

However, exercise can be tricky, as we don't have the same definition of what should work. I like super intense stuff like high ropes, rock climbing, P90X, and Insanity, plus distance running. That doesn't do it for her.

I'm also in shape, and I have a really strong metabolism. I can let myself go for months, then go to the gym for 2 weeks and snap back into beach body. She doesn't have that luxury, so my telling her what to do gets interpreted as my being insensitive.

Finally, if she really doesn't want to change, there is nothing I can do about it other than communicate my desire for her to be healthier and model the behavior I expect. If she changes because I force her, she will eventually revert back to old habits. If she changes because she wants to, there is a better chance for success.
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:28 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes they react nicely.....until the first argument after...It will get brought up pretty quickly don't you worry.
They may let it slide, but they sure as hell don't forget.
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:30 PM    (permalink
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Does she have any very fit friends that you know well, bsaza? If so, that could be the angle you might want to play.
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:52 PM    (permalink
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They may let it slide, but they sure as hell don't forget.
Never.....ever....forget.
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Old 07-11-2013, 05:55 PM    (permalink
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Does she have any very fit friends that you know well, bsaza? If so, that could be the angle you might want to play.
When we were wedding planning, she did some group exercise classes and made friends working out with them. Post-wedding, we needed to pay bills, so we cut that expense in exchange for credit card payments. Now it might be time to re-engage in those classes.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:08 PM    (permalink
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Ok so I got a questions for you guys with more experince in break ups / moving on from current girl friends.

I got offered a fun job / change of pace life on Friday about working down in Yosemite National Park for a while and possible long term commitment. It is different then city life jobs your work is customer service and providing it people who visit the parks in a gift , food service or hotel etc.

My issue do I take this job and break up with a gal who I've been dating almost 2 years now since 2010 ish. We've had our ups and down threw the months. If i was to go foward I just don't know what I would do.

My other option is from her standpoint is enlisting into the US Navy which I'm almost there ( 14 pounds or 3% body fat and I'm in) I'm just not sure that life is for me even though I have thought about doing but in my late 20's I'm not to sure. I wanna be out enjoying life and in the great out doors. This job offer can let me do that year around, stable income , my own place sort of and benefits after a year. The lady wants me to join for all descent reason of the Military, good pay, full benefits and college fun after service.

I've tried to tell her that I wasn't sure if that life is for me and she flipped basically the last time I told so it would be a bad break up.

It is just a tough choice to make going forward with this job opportunity to live in a great National park... Any offer up advice for me?
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:14 PM    (permalink
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You told her you didn't think joining the Military was for you and she went off on one? I'd karate chop her in the neck.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:23 PM    (permalink
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Well she didn't go off on but it ended up in a big argument about what path I should take and seasonal life isn't worth it to her right now because of pay. But to me it is worth because of what kind of places you get to live and for the price of housing in those places working for a certain company is great.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:29 PM    (permalink
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Sounds like her only concern is herself and she's trying to manipulate you into making quite a big life decision that you don't want to make. I'd definitely karate chop her in the neck.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:38 PM    (permalink
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Sounds like her only concern is herself and she's trying to manipulate you into making quite a big life decision that you don't want to make. I'd definitely karate chop her in the neck.
LOL like Chuck Norris right?

Is not just her. I sort of want to join too but not that is job offer came about. I'm thinking twice about enlisting. I have always to work for this park plus it is a year around gig as well with benefits after a year.
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Old 07-21-2013, 03:50 PM    (permalink
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Kind of off topic, but Im trying to understand where youre coming from, why do you want to join the navy?
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:07 PM    (permalink
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Well I've always wanted to serve for my country and get all the fun benefits. But also being able to travel and enjoy it at the Navy expense as I was younger it sounded like a fun deal. Now in my late 20's I'm not to sure.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:23 PM    (permalink
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Well I've always wanted to serve for my country and get all the fun benefits. But also being able to travel and enjoy it at the Navy expense as I was younger it sounded like a fun deal. Now in my late 20's I'm not to sure.
Do what you want to do, which seems like the Yosemite job, and don't make your decision based off a girl.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:29 PM    (permalink
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Cool. I just ask, because Im from a small-ass country, where military service doesn´t have nearly the same status as it has in the US. How long would you be in the navy, and is it even possible to keep a relationsship going while youre there?
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:31 PM    (permalink
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Cool. I just ask, because Im from a small-ass country, where military service doesn´t have nearly the same status as it has in the US. How long would you be in the navy, and is it even possible to keep a relationsship going while youre there?
It's quite possible. I could stay in the military for ever long I want 20 years if I chose too and that would put me around 45 or so maybe 50 if I can even physically last that long.

A lot of people handle relationships well while service for the US Military. It is tough at first being apart for a full year while in boot camp and training school etc. I'm just worried I won't be able to hold up physically is all mental part is no problem . Also I'm just sure the life is for me.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:39 PM    (permalink
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Okay. Im probably the wrong guy to ask about the navy part, cus I am a lazy bastard, and would never do a thing like that. However I would say, that that kind of job takes a sh*tload of determination, and if you´re having doubts even before you join, maybe its not for you.
As far as your relationsship goes, I agree with PF. If you really want that Yosemite job, go for it. Sounds like a chance you only get once in a lifetime. If thats what you really want, go for it.
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Old 07-21-2013, 04:56 PM    (permalink
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my girl and I ended it today and towards the end she just got straight up nasty. Says she wished she friend zoned me when we first met and that our relationship was "terrible". Uhm. She never showed any signs of unhappiness the last few months and I'm just kinda surprised. I mean, bummed, but I guess not super upset, which could be a telling sign. It was just cool having a gf, now back to that single life
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:02 PM    (permalink
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Do what you want to do, which seems like the Yosemite job, and don't make your decision based off a girl.
Best advice is right there.


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my girl and I ended it today and towards the end she just got straight up nasty. Says she wished she friend zoned me when we first met and that our relationship was "terrible". Uhm. She never showed any signs of unhappiness the last few months and I'm just kinda surprised. I mean, bummed, but I guess not super upset, which could be a telling sign. It was just cool having a gf, now back to that single life
Women got some serious nastiness (and I'm not talking the good kind either) in them. That's why they all hate each other for the most part. Take it in stride my man - **** her.
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:03 PM    (permalink
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Yea the Yosemite seems almost perfect though. It is gonna be hard to turn it down. I just don't know how telling the gf I wanna do that instead of the Navy life because that is all she talks about.

I wouldn't know how to go about telling i want a different life style and that this is where I wanna besides from just putting it out there.
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Old 07-21-2013, 05:04 PM    (permalink
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Damn Scottyboy that just sucks.
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