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11-20-2007, 08:02 PM
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All-NFLDC
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,828
Reputation: 1691
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The Philosophy of Sex
I got a good chuckle from this so I thought you all might enjoy it. It's from Digg but the original website is down (big surprise).
Quote:
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner
"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other e eight are unimportant."
--George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*****."
--Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
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11-20-2007, 08:21 PM
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Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Posts: 1,290
Reputation: 26519
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hahaha, shooting pool with a rope, gold.
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11-20-2007, 08:52 PM
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Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ballerville
Posts: 640
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I find so much truth in these most awesomeness of quotes...but then when I go to the grocery store and you glance at the women's mags and they say things on them like "1781 ways to have better sex."
Chick logic: think one thing, do exactly the opposite.
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11-20-2007, 09:11 PM
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bhaarat316
All-NFLDC
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: earth
Posts: 13,193
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I like the Barbara bush one, also the Last Robin Williams one
There is Truthness in these quotes
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11-20-2007, 09:58 PM
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All-NFLDC
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,828
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My favourite is probably Robin Williams' first one:
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
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11-20-2007, 10:19 PM
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All-Pro
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,758
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moses
My favourite is probably Robin Williams' first one:
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
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It's funnier imagining him say it in a black preacher voice.
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11-20-2007, 10:43 PM
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All-NFLDC
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas
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Ha, George Burn's "rope" quote was the best. Also props to Barbara Bush, didn't expect that.
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11-20-2007, 11:03 PM
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All-Pro
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Posts: 7,079
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul
Ha, George Burn's "rope" quote was the best. Also props to Barbara Bush, didn't expect that.
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Same here. You can't beat the rope but a First Lady discussing it is still pretty damn awesome.
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11-20-2007, 11:29 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose.
Posts: 19,778
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All very funny
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11-21-2007, 01:10 AM
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All-Pro
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Back to back to back winning seasons ftw
Posts: 6,975
Reputation: 64327
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Digg is an amazing site.
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"He's the leader of the next great class of NFL players. " - John Elway on Matt Ryan
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11-21-2007, 01:14 AM
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All-NFLDC
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,828
Reputation: 1691
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d34ng3l021
Digg is an amazing site.
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The future of news. :D
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11-21-2007, 08:30 AM
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All-NFLDC
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas
Posts: 10,913
Reputation: 914294
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Aside from the Mac and Linux d*** riding by some of the users there, I love Digg.
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