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Old 01-26-2009, 06:04 PM    (permalink
derza222
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Originally Posted by Zyro_1014 View Post
Ok guys gonna ask you guys a question. Ive been asking some of my closest friends, and it hasnt been helping. Ive decided to bring it to SWDC and get the advice of some true experts ;)

So my ex GF and I dated for a year and a half, We broke up about a month before i left for school because she was so worried about trying to make it work while i was at school, and we had started to get into some little arguments here and there. Well now its half way through the school year, and she has started to talk to me again, and has brought up getting back together.

I have been seeing a girl while i have been here, nothing too serious. Its a fun little thing, but i do not feel half of what i felt for my ex. Obviously i still have feelings for my ex, but i really hadnt talked to her much until a couple weeks ago.

Get back together with the ex? or stay away from it?
I've been dating the same girl off and on for over 3 and a half years, about a year and a half of which have been at college. Went from a HS relationship that I wasn't sure was going to last for more than two weeks to something pretty serious, we started fighting a lot one summer and split, she told me she still had feelings for me and I decided to get back with her, and we had a week or two long split while I was at college.

I go to school around 2 hours away and she commutes to school so when I come home I can see her. I really care about her, but it's not easy by any stretch. Honestly unless your feelings for this girl are really strong I think you're better off having fun at college. Don't get me wrong I'm happy where I am but I absolutely sometimes wish I could be having more fun at school. I'd wait for more serious relationships to come down the road when you know yourself a little better. Now's the time to enjoy yourself, man, so take advantage.
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Old 01-26-2009, 07:08 PM    (permalink
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I understand that the police will spend money if they have money to spend, but you'd think that the local gov spend it on something more useful than a chopper if all they're doing is busting high school parties with it.
Keep in mind that they might share it with other bordering counties. The suburb that my parent live in has a SWAT team. You think it's overkill but they work with all the area towns/cities because everyone was tired of calling out the SWAT team from DFW International or the SWAT teams from Dallas PD/Ft. Worth PD.
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:12 PM    (permalink
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i'm back to break your balls.
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:13 PM    (permalink
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How are the good ol' Afrikaans doing anyways?
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:13 PM    (permalink
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i'm back to break your balls.
Back in the states?
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:14 PM    (permalink
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i'm back to break your balls.
You just know you couldn't leave us (or me). ;)
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:24 PM    (permalink
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Back in the states?
no. up early eating breakfast.
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:26 PM    (permalink
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no. up early eating breakfast.
I tried ringing the number in your sig. It didnt work. Im dissapointed AQ :(




;)
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:29 PM    (permalink
awfullyquiet
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I tried ringing the number in your sig. It didnt work. Im dissapointed AQ :(




;)
you have to be an american i guess.
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:33 PM    (permalink
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you have to be an american i guess.
Tut tut.

I kinda miss posting in this thread, but my relatioship is going so well atm i have no need to :/
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Old 01-26-2009, 11:36 PM    (permalink
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Tut tut.

I kinda miss posting in this thread, but my relatioship is going so well atm i have no need to :/
don't jinx it. that's a great thing! congrats. don't blow it.
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Old 01-27-2009, 09:56 AM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by Zyro_1014 View Post
Ok guys gonna ask you guys a question. Ive been asking some of my closest friends, and it hasnt been helping. Ive decided to bring it to SWDC and get the advice of some true experts ;)

So my ex GF and I dated for a year and a half, We broke up about a month before i left for school because she was so worried about trying to make it work while i was at school, and we had started to get into some little arguments here and there. Well now its half way through the school year, and she has started to talk to me again, and has brought up getting back together.

I have been seeing a girl while i have been here, nothing too serious. Its a fun little thing, but i do not feel half of what i felt for my ex. Obviously i still have feelings for my ex, but i really hadnt talked to her much until a couple weeks ago.

Get back together with the ex? or stay away from it?
I think you guys broke it off because you didn't want to deal with the issues associated with long distance and the temptations associated with that. I think this is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder, but maybe you also lack a sense of closure from your ex. Like you're wondering what could have been. I wouldn't mess with a HS girl while I'm in college and all that. Just keep up the casual thing with your college lady and look for something better at school. Keep it local. When you're home for your next break, you can maybe rekindle with your ex, but I would caution against. It's just going to be a huge pain in the arse, and it's not even worth it, IMO.

I'm not saying the feelings that you're feeling here aren't real. Just that you shouldn't go backwards. Look forward. If it's meant to be long term, you'll reconnect in the future.
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:23 AM    (permalink
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Bump. Making sure this thread doesn't drown in the sea of idiotic other posts...
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Old 01-28-2009, 05:30 PM    (permalink
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I think you guys broke it off because you didn't want to deal with the issues associated with long distance and the temptations associated with that. I think this is a case of absence making the heart grow fonder, but maybe you also lack a sense of closure from your ex. Like you're wondering what could have been. I wouldn't mess with a HS girl while I'm in college and all that. Just keep up the casual thing with your college lady and look for something better at school. Keep it local. When you're home for your next break, you can maybe rekindle with your ex, but I would caution against. It's just going to be a huge pain in the arse, and it's not even worth it, IMO.

I'm not saying the feelings that you're feeling here aren't real. Just that you shouldn't go backwards. Look forward. If it's meant to be long term, you'll reconnect in the future.
thanks man, im gettin some good advice from you guys.
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:32 PM    (permalink
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Being in high school, girls are so annoying...

I was talking to this one girl from different school. She was giving me all the signs, flirting etc with me. We went out a few times and I took her to a couple parties. But then whenever I tried to get close with her she would turn me down. Later she was explaining in front of me how we were best friends and stuff. She even asked to bring her ex-boyfriend to my good friends party that we were throwing. I said whatever, accepted that I was in the friend zone and moved on.

So at that party I hooked up with her friend, and now the original girl isn't talking to me. Should I even try to talk to her?
Alright quoting myself here to bring back something. That girl is having a party this friday and invited all of my friends except me and another one of my close friends. I took her and her friends to 4-5 different parties and introduced them to my friends who did the same.

Should I crash this ****? I'm not gonna look for trouble, but I have no problem rolling up there and hanging with my friends.
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:37 PM    (permalink
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Alright quoting myself here to bring back something. That girl is having a party this friday and invited all of my friends except me and another one of my close friends. I took her and her friends to 4-5 different parties and introduced them to my friends who did the same.

Should I crash this ****? I'm not gonna look for trouble, but I have no problem rolling up there and hanging with my friends.
you wouldnt be crashing the party, you would be bringin the party son. lol

party doesnt start till YOU get there ;)
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Old 01-28-2009, 09:44 PM    (permalink
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you wouldnt be crashing the party, you would be bringin the party son. lol

party doesnt start till YOU get there ;)
Yeah I guess. I saw her friends at that crazy birthday party that got busted with the chopper and said hi to them.

Still haven't talked to her in about a month though. If she tries to throw me out I guess I'll just make a big scene and be a douche :)
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:08 PM    (permalink
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Alright quoting myself here to bring back something. That girl is having a party this friday and invited all of my friends except me and another one of my close friends. I took her and her friends to 4-5 different parties and introduced them to my friends who did the same.

Should I crash this ****? I'm not gonna look for trouble, but I have no problem rolling up there and hanging with my friends.


Go for it. The **** is she going to do about it?
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:10 PM    (permalink
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Weird one here.

Me and this girl have been very close friends for a year now. It started off with us in a history class and we got to know each other so I asked her out. I got a "uh...not ready for a boyfriend" deal. The usual. Two months later she went out with this other guy and our friendship grew closer but I really only wanted to go out with her. The sad thing is though, I couldn't break the friendship though I knew it was wrong for me to be friends with her because of that.

So then she starts coming to me with all her problems and the more I get to know her and how she treats this boyfriend of hers, I start thinking that I should not want to go out with her regardless. I give token advice ("let things play out" yada yada yada) and then she breaks up with me.

Now she tells me via AIM that she broke up with him because she likes me and wants to basically do it. I get all happy because eh, it's 5:00pm and its a Saturday and Around the Horn isn't on and I could deal with that. She is a "rookie" too if you catch my drift. But I'm a dumbass. Instead of pouncing on the deal, I keep talking. Then I find out she wanted a relationship and she starts POOOOURRRRING her guts out to me. I say "I don't want a relationship" and she hasn't talked to me since.

It's been about a month and I don't miss her at all. But she did send me a text saying how inconsiderate, terrible and kniving I am.

Basically, did I pull a dick move?
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:13 PM    (permalink
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Weird one here.

Me and this girl have been very close friends for a year now. It started off with us in a history class and we got to know each other so I asked her out. I got a "uh...not ready for a boyfriend" deal. The usual. Two months later she went out with this other guy and our friendship grew closer but I really only wanted to go out with her. The sad thing is though, I couldn't break the friendship though I knew it was wrong for me to be friends with her because of that.

So then she starts coming to me with all her problems and the more I get to know her and how she treats this boyfriend of hers, I start thinking that I should not want to go out with her regardless. I give token advice ("let things play out" yada yada yada) and then she breaks up with me.

Now she tells me via AIM that she broke up with him because she likes me and wants to basically do it. I get all happy because eh, it's 5:00pm and its a Saturday and Around the Horn isn't on and I could deal with that. She is a "rookie" too if you catch my drift. But I'm a dumbass. Instead of pouncing on the deal, I keep talking. Then I find out she wanted a relationship and she starts POOOOURRRRING her guts out to me. I say "I don't want a relationship" and she hasn't talked to me since.

It's been about a month and I don't miss her at all. But she did send me a text saying how inconsiderate, terrible and kniving I am.

Basically, did I pull a dick move?
Nope. You are fine.
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:20 PM    (permalink
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Nope. You are fine.
Yeah, I could see you maybe asking if you pulled a dick move if you did it with her and then pulled the I don't want a relationship out, but I see absolutely no issue there.
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Old 01-28-2009, 10:29 PM    (permalink
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Weird one here.

Me and this girl have been very close friends for a year now. It started off with us in a history class and we got to know each other so I asked her out. I got a "uh...not ready for a boyfriend" deal. The usual. Two months later she went out with this other guy and our friendship grew closer but I really only wanted to go out with her. The sad thing is though, I couldn't break the friendship though I knew it was wrong for me to be friends with her because of that.

So then she starts coming to me with all her problems and the more I get to know her and how she treats this boyfriend of hers, I start thinking that I should not want to go out with her regardless. I give token advice ("let things play out" yada yada yada) and then she breaks up with me.

Now she tells me via AIM that she broke up with him because she likes me and wants to basically do it. I get all happy because eh, it's 5:00pm and its a Saturday and Around the Horn isn't on and I could deal with that. She is a "rookie" too if you catch my drift. But I'm a dumbass. Instead of pouncing on the deal, I keep talking. Then I find out she wanted a relationship and she starts POOOOURRRRING her guts out to me. I say "I don't want a relationship" and she hasn't talked to me since.

It's been about a month and I don't miss her at all. But she did send me a text saying how inconsiderate, terrible and kniving I am.

Basically, did I pull a dick move?
No, not at all. You put yourself out there to begin with and she said no, essentially the same way you just did now. Like derza said, if you smashed and quit it, dick move.

Otherwise let her figure out what she missed out on and keep on truckin.
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:03 PM    (permalink
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Thanks ATL, derza and skinzz. I felt that I did the right thing, but still wanted someone besides myself telling me.

DC'ers win again!
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:25 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by Philliez01 View Post
Weird one here.

Me and this girl have been very close friends for a year now. It started off with us in a history class and we got to know each other so I asked her out. I got a "uh...not ready for a boyfriend" deal. The usual. Two months later she went out with this other guy and our friendship grew closer but I really only wanted to go out with her. The sad thing is though, I couldn't break the friendship though I knew it was wrong for me to be friends with her because of that.

So then she starts coming to me with all her problems and the more I get to know her and how she treats this boyfriend of hers, I start thinking that I should not want to go out with her regardless. I give token advice ("let things play out" yada yada yada) and then she breaks up with me.

Now she tells me via AIM that she broke up with him because she likes me and wants to basically do it. I get all happy because eh, it's 5:00pm and its a Saturday and Around the Horn isn't on and I could deal with that. She is a "rookie" too if you catch my drift. But I'm a dumbass. Instead of pouncing on the deal, I keep talking. Then I find out she wanted a relationship and she starts POOOOURRRRING her guts out to me. I say "I don't want a relationship" and she hasn't talked to me since.

It's been about a month and I don't miss her at all. But she did send me a text saying how inconsiderate, terrible and kniving I am.

Basically, did I pull a dick move?
Wow, I envy you.

Me and this girl went out 3 times in HS, with the longest relationship being 6 months long. Each relationship was good, but each time the relationship was cut short because of other things (didnt know how to handle relationship, parents, college) and there was obviously something there. We broke up before college and 2 weeks after college starts, she starts dating this other guy and is his girlfriend for a year. At the end of her relationship, she and I became really close (to the point where she was saying stuff about how she liked me). After the break up, she completely changed and we became a bit more distant and she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Its also hard considering she goes to college 8 hours away from me.

I don't know if I want to be just friends. Being friends with her and close to her makes me like her, but I don't know if I want that; it just ends up sucking because it might not go anywhere. Being away from her just gives me no shot with being with her, which sucks as well.
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Old 01-28-2009, 11:43 PM    (permalink
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Wow, I envy you.

Me and this girl went out 3 times in HS, with the longest relationship being 6 months long. Each relationship was good, but each time the relationship was cut short because of other things (didnt know how to handle relationship, parents, college) and there was obviously something there. We broke up before college and 2 weeks after college starts, she starts dating this other guy and is his girlfriend for a year. At the end of her relationship, she and I became really close (to the point where she was saying stuff about how she liked me). After the break up, she completely changed and we became a bit more distant and she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Its also hard considering she goes to college 8 hours away from me.

I don't know if I want to be just friends. Being friends with her and close to her makes me like her, but I don't know if I want that; it just ends up sucking because it might not go anywhere. Being away from her just gives me no shot with being with her, which sucks as well.
Being friends can suck, but in this case it seems like it's the best case scenario. Distance relationships blow also, I'm only 2 hours away from my girlfriend and it's still no fun.

At this point if she doesn't want the relationship there's not much you can do about it. If you're close enough that you'll want to be friends with her regardless then I'd just do that and see if something comes up, and if it'd suck too much to see her dating other guys I'd just not worry about the relationship too much and move on.

For instance, my girlfriend's probably my closest friend so if we split up regardless of who did it I'd want to be friends unless it ended really ugly. She has made it clear she would not want to because she'd be jealous of the girls that dated me. Completely depends case to case IMO.

But between the distance and the fact that she doesn't want a relationship I really wouldn't focus on a relationship with her at all and just work stuff out with other chicks. If you want to keep the friendship for the sake of the friendship do that, if not I'd blow her off, but I wouldn't stay friends with her purely so you can try and date her later.
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