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Old 01-29-2009, 01:10 AM    (permalink
someone447
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Originally Posted by Philliez01 View Post
Weird one here.

Me and this girl have been very close friends for a year now. It started off with us in a history class and we got to know each other so I asked her out. I got a "uh...not ready for a boyfriend" deal. The usual. Two months later she went out with this other guy and our friendship grew closer but I really only wanted to go out with her. The sad thing is though, I couldn't break the friendship though I knew it was wrong for me to be friends with her because of that.

So then she starts coming to me with all her problems and the more I get to know her and how she treats this boyfriend of hers, I start thinking that I should not want to go out with her regardless. I give token advice ("let things play out" yada yada yada) and then she breaks up with me.

Now she tells me via AIM that she broke up with him because she likes me and wants to basically do it. I get all happy because eh, it's 5:00pm and its a Saturday and Around the Horn isn't on and I could deal with that. She is a "rookie" too if you catch my drift. But I'm a dumbass. Instead of pouncing on the deal, I keep talking. Then I find out she wanted a relationship and she starts POOOOURRRRING her guts out to me. I say "I don't want a relationship" and she hasn't talked to me since.

It's been about a month and I don't miss her at all. But she did send me a text saying how inconsiderate, terrible and kniving I am.

Basically, did I pull a dick move?
How was it possibly a dick move? You told her you didn't want a relationship. That is called being a mature adult. Had you told her you wanted a relationship, ****** her, then quit talking to her, THAT would have been a dick move.

By the way, you weren't really friends with her. It isn't a friendship when one person is pining for the other. It is an unrequited crush.
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Old 01-29-2009, 01:11 AM    (permalink
someone447
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Originally Posted by d34ng3l021 View Post
Wow, I envy you.

Me and this girl went out 3 times in HS, with the longest relationship being 6 months long. Each relationship was good, but each time the relationship was cut short because of other things (didnt know how to handle relationship, parents, college) and there was obviously something there. We broke up before college and 2 weeks after college starts, she starts dating this other guy and is his girlfriend for a year. At the end of her relationship, she and I became really close (to the point where she was saying stuff about how she liked me). After the break up, she completely changed and we became a bit more distant and she said she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Its also hard considering she goes to college 8 hours away from me.

I don't know if I want to be just friends. Being friends with her and close to her makes me like her, but I don't know if I want that; it just ends up sucking because it might not go anywhere. Being away from her just gives me no shot with being with her, which sucks as well.
Friends with benefits. You are apart from each other, so no reason to be in a relationship. You have ****** before. Just **** her when you are back in town. Just make sure to be honest that it is only a when you are back in town thing.
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Old 01-29-2009, 01:13 AM    (permalink
someone447
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Originally Posted by skinzzfan25 View Post
Alright quoting myself here to bring back something. That girl is having a party this friday and invited all of my friends except me and another one of my close friends. I took her and her friends to 4-5 different parties and introduced them to my friends who did the same.

Should I crash this ****? I'm not gonna look for trouble, but I have no problem rolling up there and hanging with my friends.
Just go, and if she throws you out laugh and take your friends with you. If your friends won't leave, they obviously aren't very good friends.
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Old 01-29-2009, 01:20 AM    (permalink
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Agreed, it could've been an honest mistake and if your friends don't back you up then they're not really friends
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Old 01-29-2009, 01:20 AM    (permalink
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Being friends can suck, but in this case it seems like it's the best case scenario. Distance relationships blow also, I'm only 2 hours away from my girlfriend and it's still no fun.

At this point if she doesn't want the relationship there's not much you can do about it. If you're close enough that you'll want to be friends with her regardless then I'd just do that and see if something comes up, and if it'd suck too much to see her dating other guys I'd just not worry about the relationship too much and move on.

For instance, my girlfriend's probably my closest friend so if we split up regardless of who did it I'd want to be friends unless it ended really ugly. She has made it clear she would not want to because she'd be jealous of the girls that dated me. Completely depends case to case IMO.

But between the distance and the fact that she doesn't want a relationship I really wouldn't focus on a relationship with her at all and just work stuff out with other chicks. If you want to keep the friendship for the sake of the friendship do that, if not I'd blow her off, but I wouldn't stay friends with her purely so you can try and date her later.
Yeah. We have had clean break ups every time and if we aren't dating, we are usually best friends. We are actually talking more now and I guess I'll keep this thing going. If she starts to date another guy (one of her friends likes her. i think she is beginning to like him too), then I don't think I would be able to continue being friends, which is a shame; she and I are very close.

Whenever we talked about how a long term relationship would work out, I always thought we could make it work. Its probably just optimism and thats something every couple thinks of.

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Friends with benefits. You are apart from each other, so no reason to be in a relationship. You have ****** before. Just **** her when you are back in town. Just make sure to be honest that it is only a when you are back in town thing.
Our last relationship was supposed to be that (she actually proposed it...). It was the summer before college and I guess she just wanted some. She asked over AIM too. Who am I to say no? By the end of the summer though, I kinda liked her and she liked me a lot and was pretty upset that I didn't officially ask her out as college started and whatnot. I do not know if she would be down for that again...but there is a slight chance. I wouldn't know how to ask it, you know?
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Old 01-29-2009, 12:19 PM    (permalink
someone447
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Originally Posted by d34ng3l021 View Post
Yeah. We have had clean break ups every time and if we aren't dating, we are usually best friends. We are actually talking more now and I guess I'll keep this thing going. If she starts to date another guy (one of her friends likes her. i think she is beginning to like him too), then I don't think I would be able to continue being friends, which is a shame; she and I are very close.

Whenever we talked about how a long term relationship would work out, I always thought we could make it work. Its probably just optimism and thats something every couple thinks of.



Our last relationship was supposed to be that (she actually proposed it...). It was the summer before college and I guess she just wanted some. She asked over AIM too. Who am I to say no? By the end of the summer though, I kinda liked her and she liked me a lot and was pretty upset that I didn't officially ask her out as college started and whatnot. I do not know if she would be down for that again...but there is a slight chance. I wouldn't know how to ask it, you know?
You two have already talked about having a relationship and agreed against it. Next time you are in town make a move. I bet she would be into it. It's not really a thing you ask. It just sorta happens. Just be clear the whole way that there isn't going to be a relationship, and if one of you starts to develop feelings, break it off.
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:03 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:19 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
Sounds like an FML story waiting to happen
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:32 PM    (permalink
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Sounds like an FML story waiting to happen
Oh no, in order for there to be an FML story I would have had to have the balls to actually put myself in one of those positions.
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:40 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
That sounds just about right.
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:40 PM    (permalink
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That sounds just about right.
Okay, just re-assuring myself.
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:41 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
No you are not. I could delve into a long spiel about all this but I think we all know how it works.
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Old 01-29-2009, 02:43 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
Lucky for me I'm both..........

I think I'll spend my lunch crying in the bathroom now.
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Old 01-29-2009, 08:49 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
I disagree. Bitches that aren't worth it go for good looking or rich guys.

The down to earth and sweet girls are taken.
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Old 01-29-2009, 10:06 PM    (permalink
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Am I crazy for thinking the good girls only go for guys who are good-looking or rich?
Just like all of us guys, good and otherwise, go for hot and smart girls? I'm not saying that's not true just pointing out that all people go for the people who are most attractive to them.
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Old 01-29-2009, 11:26 PM    (permalink
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Just like all of us guys, good and otherwise, go for hot and smart girls? I'm not saying that's not true just pointing out that all people go for the people who are most attractive to them.
This isn't necessarily true. Sometimes people go for "that someone" that likes them because they want the attention.

Sometimes they go for the "that someone" that will improve their publicity. This is usually true in middle school or high school where some girls get with guys to make them more popular and some things like that.

There are numerous motives why someone chooses someone and varying factors as to why they prefer certain "types." Money and good looks work and having both is a lady killer but the best thing I can say to anyone is be yourself.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:16 AM    (permalink
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This isn't necessarily true. Sometimes people go for "that someone" that likes them because they want the attention.

Sometimes they go for the "that someone" that will improve their publicity. This is usually true in middle school or high school where some girls get with guys to make them more popular and some things like that.

There are numerous motives why someone chooses someone and varying factors as to why they prefer certain "types." Money and good looks work and having both is a lady killer but the best thing I can say to anyone is be yourself.
Not disagreeing at all with you, just pointing out that just like in general most guys will go after women they consider attractive, whatever those reasons may be, in general most women will go after men they consider attractive, and looks and power has attracted women since the dawn of time.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:21 AM    (permalink
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Not disagreeing at all with you, just pointing out that just like in general most guys will go after women they consider attractive, whatever those reasons may be, in general most women will go after men they consider attractive, and looks and power has attracted women since the dawn of time.
Yeah, I'm in total agreement. It's only natural to flee to those girls who are visually attractive to you, especially in settings where you don't know them all that well personally.
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:22 AM    (permalink
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There is this girl that I like and we've been emailing back and forth lately. I know her in real life so she isn't just someone i've meet online. I want to ask her out, but I don't have her phone # and I'm pretty sure it's lame to ask her out via email. So how do I take the next step to talking to her on the phone? Do I just ask her for her number flat out or what? Then how do I go about getting the date?
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Old 01-30-2009, 12:26 AM    (permalink
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There is this girl that I like and we've been emailing back and forth lately. I know her in real life so she isn't just someone i've meet online. I want to ask her out, but I don't have her phone # and I'm pretty sure it's lame to ask her out via email. So how do I take the next step to talking to her on the phone? Do I just ask her for her number flat out or what? Then how do I go about getting the date?
Make a comment about how you'd prefer to talk on the phone rather than over email and send your number and be like, "just call me next time you want to talk" and leave the decision up to her... she'll do it.
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Old 01-30-2009, 01:53 AM    (permalink
d34ng3l021
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d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.d34ng3l021 is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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Originally Posted by georgiafan View Post
There is this girl that I like and we've been emailing back and forth lately. I know her in real life so she isn't just someone i've meet online. I want to ask her out, but I don't have her phone # and I'm pretty sure it's lame to ask her out via email. So how do I take the next step to talking to her on the phone? Do I just ask her for her number flat out or what? Then how do I go about getting the date?
What Brent said. Find a way to get her number and text/call her and stuff. Then ask to meet up for coffee and whatnot.
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Old 01-30-2009, 02:21 AM    (permalink
thule
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Haha....just curious has the ladder theory been brought up in here yet...if not I'd love to post up some of my favorite parts...I try to live by it..and best relationship advice out there.
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Old 01-30-2009, 02:25 AM    (permalink
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Haha....just curious has the ladder theory been brought up in here yet...if not I'd love to post up some of my favorite parts...I try to live by it..and best relationship advice out there.
The ladder theory is straight money.
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Old 01-30-2009, 03:26 AM    (permalink
d34ng3l021
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What is the ladder theory? Sounds damn interesting.
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Old 01-30-2009, 03:32 AM    (permalink
CashmoneyDrew
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What is the ladder theory? Sounds damn interesting.
http://ladderwiki.com/wiki/Main_Page

Ch-Check it out!
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