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Old 09-26-2010, 10:13 PM    (permalink
jballa838
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wait.. on that measurement is it from the top of the shaft or bottom to the balls? 1/2" difference either way...
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Old 09-26-2010, 10:17 PM    (permalink
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wait.. on that measurement is it from the top of the shaft or bottom to the balls? 1/2" difference either way...
everyone knows there's a dick measuring etiquette. That way would be whichever method gives you a larger number.
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Old 09-26-2010, 10:27 PM    (permalink
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wait.. on that measurement is it from the top of the shaft or bottom to the balls? 1/2" difference either way...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_*****_size

that said, I got a text from the girl I've had a thing for. I messaged her asking how she was doing (her dog got attacked by another recently) and she responded saying how she was sorry for not talking to me recently and blah blah blah. The next time I see her, I am making my intentions clear and what not; I just hope I don't ruin every thing.
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Old 09-27-2010, 12:31 AM    (permalink
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Old 09-27-2010, 01:11 PM    (permalink
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So a question for the guys who are a bit older and been in long term relationships. How long before the guy has to quit paying for everything?We've been dating close to year and both make good enough money. I don't mind doing bc she derserves to be treated good it just adds up you know.
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Old 09-27-2010, 01:13 PM    (permalink
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Well it's been like a year for you guys, so I would assume you could openly ask her "Mind paying the bill this time?"

or adopt a system where you each pay like She pays, then you pay the next date etc...

of some sort of course.
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Old 09-27-2010, 01:17 PM    (permalink
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I would assume she would offer every now and then. Next time she offers to pay, take her up on it saying something like: "You know, why don't we split it. We have been together a while, its a great relationship, we shouldn't have to worry about trivial nonsense about who pays at dinner, etc."
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Old 09-27-2010, 01:33 PM    (permalink
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I would assume she would offer every now and then. Next time she offers to pay, take her up on it saying something like: "You know, why don't we split it. We have been together a while, its a great relationship, we shouldn't have to worry about trivial nonsense about who pays at dinner, etc."
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Well it's been like a year for you guys, so I would assume you could openly ask her "Mind paying the bill this time?"

or adopt a system where you each pay like She pays, then you pay the next date etc...

of some sort of course.
She has payed for a few meals, but none of them in the past several months. When we went on a cruise with my family she payed for her trip. So its not like she has never payed for anything or is agianst the ideal totally.

Eating out at normal places like appleebee's and chilli's and that kind of places can quicky add up to 200$ a month just for eating out. I just cant help but think when i spend 50$ on a dinner and a movie. How we would have just as much fun with a homecooked meal and a netflix movie.

We are going on a weekend trip in november (1 year anniv) so I thought that might be a good time to bring it up. Like I said Im not trying to get out of never spending any money on her. But i prob spend a week of my paycheck on dating stuff.

also something else of not her ex fianace was very tight with money and wouldnt spend any money on her at all.
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Old 09-27-2010, 03:36 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by georgiafan View Post
She has payed for a few meals, but none of them in the past several months. When we went on a cruise with my family she payed for her trip. So its not like she has never payed for anything or is agianst the ideal totally.

Eating out at normal places like appleebee's and chilli's and that kind of places can quicky add up to 200$ a month just for eating out. I just cant help but think when i spend 50$ on a dinner and a movie. How we would have just as much fun with a homecooked meal and a netflix movie.

We are going on a weekend trip in november (1 year anniv) so I thought that might be a good time to bring it up. Like I said Im not trying to get out of never spending any money on her. But i prob spend a week of my paycheck on dating stuff.

also something else of not her ex fianace was very tight with money and wouldnt spend any money on her at all.
Well, an easy solution to the money woes is to stop eating out so much. My gf and I have a standing agreement where we will only eat out on weeknights 1 time a month. We take turns cooking depending on what the other has going on that night. For instance, she has class on Thursdays, so I tend to have dinner ready, and she cooked last night so I had food when I got home from hockey. Check out websites like Food Network, Epicurious, and Food & Wine. Get beginners cookbooks. Get recipes from family and friends. You will save a ton, plus you get the satisfaction of cooking for yourself, controlling portion sizes, and calories. Say you cook 2x more a month than going out to Crapplebees: That's $100 extra you can save for a gift for her, your new car, etc. You could even do that for 2 months and save up for a super nice dinner.

In terms of bringing up paying, I tend to pay for more with my gf because I make good money, and she is finishing her grad degree. Still, if I lay out for dinner, she usually springs for dessert or drinks or has a bottle of wine ready for later. Sometimes, after I grab the check, she will say "Thanks for dinner!", and I'll say "Thanks for the ice cream!", as if to imply that she's paying for ice cream. It is cute and flirty.

With regards to your relationship, you need to be up front and honest about everything. If you're not getting enough head, say something. If you want to move in together, say something. If you feel like you need her to pick up the tab here and there, say something. Now, there's something to be said for timing. Bringing up paying during the 1 year anniversary is terrible timing. You want it to be casual or while you're discussing other things. It can even be before you leave for dinner. Say, "honey, I have no problem picking up the check most of the time, but do you think you can treat me tonight?" Chances are, she hadn't even thought about it or assumed you were okay with it.

Once you bring it up the first time, see how she reacts. Ideal situation is for her to treat that night and proactively work on improving the ratio. If you both do well, you can reasonably expect a 1 or 2 or 1 for 3 ratio from here on out. If she doesn't hold up her end of the bargain, a more serious talk about it and how it makes you feel would be warranted.
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Old 09-27-2010, 05:03 PM    (permalink
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One thing I noticed when I went back through my long post was that I missed the ex-fiancee angle. That is some rather serious baggage. I'm sure you aren't the same kind of guy, but you need to take this under advisement. Specifically note that often times, men make rational arguments and women make emotional arguments. You need to understand that discussing money will probably spark an emotional reaction from her. Anticipate her reaction and approach it in the most non-confrontational manner possible.

End of the day, you can easily make the points you need to make:

1. I care about you
2. I love treating you well, and you deserve everything I give you.
3. When you don't pay or even offer, it makes me feel (insert legit argument).
4. I think a reasonable solution would be (insert new plan, whether it's you get dinner, she gets the movies, she treats here and there, etc.)

Then discuss it like adults. Adult relationships involve good communication and rational compromise.
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Old 09-27-2010, 05:35 PM    (permalink
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Yeah you should bring up the money thing before going on the trip rather than during the trip.

Use the trip to your advantage, be like lets save some for the trip so you can spend some there.
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Old 09-28-2010, 07:50 AM    (permalink
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Thats great advice man, thanks for all the help

Like I said its not a big deal right now bc I enjoy being able to carry her to nice places. I'm just thinking about into the future. I also have a brother who i'm very close with and he never carries his gf anyway nice for a few diffrent reasons. So I know we both dont wanna end up like that and like u said that reminds her of her ex finace.

Cooking is a good ideal, bc of distance we are usually at her house and she still lives with her parents so that makes it a lil diffcult. She'll cook for me if i bring it up, but i usually don't.

The ex fiance angle is why it's tricky bc if i bring it might bring back all the stuff that went on with him and all the other crap that girls think.


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Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
Well, an easy solution to the money woes is to stop eating out so much. My gf and I have a standing agreement where we will only eat out on weeknights 1 time a month. We take turns cooking depending on what the other has going on that night. For instance, she has class on Thursdays, so I tend to have dinner ready, and she cooked last night so I had food when I got home from hockey. Check out websites like Food Network, Epicurious, and Food & Wine. Get beginners cookbooks. Get recipes from family and friends. You will save a ton, plus you get the satisfaction of cooking for yourself, controlling portion sizes, and calories. Say you cook 2x more a month than going out to Crapplebees: That's $100 extra you can save for a gift for her, your new car, etc. You could even do that for 2 months and save up for a super nice dinner.

In terms of bringing up paying, I tend to pay for more with my gf because I make good money, and she is finishing her grad degree. Still, if I lay out for dinner, she usually springs for dessert or drinks or has a bottle of wine ready for later. Sometimes, after I grab the check, she will say "Thanks for dinner!", and I'll say "Thanks for the ice cream!", as if to imply that she's paying for ice cream. It is cute and flirty.

With regards to your relationship, you need to be up front and honest about everything. If you're not getting enough head, say something. If you want to move in together, say something. If you feel like you need her to pick up the tab here and there, say something. Now, there's something to be said for timing. Bringing up paying during the 1 year anniversary is terrible timing. You want it to be casual or while you're discussing other things. It can even be before you leave for dinner. Say, "honey, I have no problem picking up the check most of the time, but do you think you can treat me tonight?" Chances are, she hadn't even thought about it or assumed you were okay with it.

Once you bring it up the first time, see how she reacts. Ideal situation is for her to treat that night and proactively work on improving the ratio. If you both do well, you can reasonably expect a 1 or 2 or 1 for 3 ratio from here on out. If she doesn't hold up her end of the bargain, a more serious talk about it and how it makes you feel would be warranted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bsaza2358 View Post
One thing I noticed when I went back through my long post was that I missed the ex-fiancee angle. That is some rather serious baggage. I'm sure you aren't the same kind of guy, but you need to take this under advisement. Specifically note that often times, men make rational arguments and women make emotional arguments. You need to understand that discussing money will probably spark an emotional reaction from her. Anticipate her reaction and approach it in the most non-confrontational manner possible.

End of the day, you can easily make the points you need to make:

1. I care about you
2. I love treating you well, and you deserve everything I give you.
3. When you don't pay or even offer, it makes me feel (insert legit argument).
4. I think a reasonable solution would be (insert new plan, whether it's you get dinner, she gets the movies, she treats here and there, etc.)

Then discuss it like adults. Adult relationships involve good communication and rational compromise.
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:17 AM    (permalink
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No better way to get into the parents' good graces than cooking for the entire group. Here is an excellent recipe. It's pretty easy to do: http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/s...roasted-lemons Pretty cheap to do, but it involves a lot of pots and pans. For added flavor, get lemon-stuffed green olives. It is a pretty awesome dish and relatively easy. Serve it with a side of rice pilaf. The Pilaf balances the dish superbly.

I also have a good method to cook ribeye/tbone steaks: Preheat an oven to 350. Season the steaks with garlic powder, black pepper, and salt. You can also use Montreal Steak Seasoning, which is money... Add 2 tbsp olive oil to a frying pan on high. Heat the oil and coat the pan. When the oil is hot, put the steaks on and cook on high 3 minutes per side. Put the steaks in the oven in the pan for another 5-6 minutes (for medium/mid-rare). Take off the pan and onto a plate. Serve with sauteed spinach and brown rice.
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:33 AM    (permalink
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Thats great advice man, thanks for all the help

Like I said its not a big deal right now bc I enjoy being able to carry her to nice places. I'm just thinking about into the future. I also have a brother who i'm very close with and he never carries his gf anyway nice for a few diffrent reasons. So I know we both dont wanna end up like that and like u said that reminds her of her ex finace.

Cooking is a good ideal, bc of distance we are usually at her house and she still lives with her parents so that makes it a lil diffcult. She'll cook for me if i bring it up, but i usually don't.

The ex fiance angle is why it's tricky bc if i bring it might bring back all the stuff that went on with him and all the other crap that girls think.
If it wasn’t a big deal, you wouldn’t have mentioned it to anyone on these forums. The question really is: Are you annoyed about the not paying because you feel like your money is better spent elsewhere or are you annoyed about it because your brother isn’t having to do that? That is a question for you to answer… Another issue for you to explore: Are you happy? What else can you do to make yourself happy and what else can she do to make you more happy? If there are reasonable changes that she can make to make you happy, ask for them. If there are changes you can make that will make you both happy (and are healthy), look into making them.

The best way to get you guys eating in and cooking more is to say something about it. My gf and I were both raised in households that always had family dinner every night. My mom or dad cooked pretty much every night for most of my childhood. That dynamic is important to us, so we cook now to set that trend. Regardless of whether that situation is important to you, you can easily make the argument to cook together more. You might find it is a really fun date. It shouldn’t her cooking for you. It should be “let’s cook together” Try to put together meals based on what you guys like and what tastes good. Work with new ingredients. Try new things. Check the supermarket ads for sales to get good proteins. Try new cooking techniques. Laugh about failed meals and enjoy great ones.

The fiancée issue is a big elephant in the room here. Bigger than you might imagine. That is a huge piece of baggage. I don’t need details, but you do on some account. You need to understand why that relationship got as far as it did, why it ended, and what it means for her. You need to make sure that she is past the hurt and other issues that come from a major relationship ending. Clearly, you are interested in staying with this girl and perhaps even marrying her. It has been a year, yet you tread lightly on certain issues and seem to shy away from confrontation for fear of bringing up the past. You are not her ex. You are you, and you are entitled to a healthy, caring relationship that is based on honesty, communication, and mutual respect. It seems like you have some degree of honesty and respect, but some small things are missing here. A big thing is open communication. You have been bothered by the eating out issue for a while, yet you didn’t say anything. That is an unhealthy pattern of behavior. What if it was a bigger issue? What if you weren’t happy in your relationship and were thinking about cheating, yet all you had to do was say you want kinkier sex? Be honest and open and listen to her. You might find that your relationship gets even better. If you are worried about the ex and how she is doing, have a conversation about it. And so on…

Now, back to timing… Do not at all bring the ex up before your anniversary. Major conversations about where you guys are and where she is psychologically will just create tension prior to the event. You want to enjoy your anniversary. Wait until a little after, then communicate certain concerns under the banner of: “I want this to go somewhere, but I need to know x, y, and z.” Talk to her about your situation and then invite her to talk to you about things you can do better.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:28 PM    (permalink
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I think I need some help here. Here is my situation:
I'm a jr. in HS, there is this freshman girl I think is really hot. She has an older sister in my grade who I'm friendly with. Idk if I even wanna go out with this girl, but I at least wanna get to know her. I have absolutely zer0 classes with her. I see her once in a while in school. I just wanna know how I should go about talking to her. It's been so damn long since my last real relationship(which ended kinda rough) and I feel like I've lost all confidence and knowledge, lol. Please help.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:33 PM    (permalink
Brent
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grow a pair and just talk to her. I, literally, teach kids her age, they dont have a whole lot to say, so just talk to her about anything-*******-ever and if you are attractive to her she will either become really flirty or not know what to do.

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Old 09-28-2010, 10:40 PM    (permalink
OSUGiants17
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Alright, I know that, but like I said, we ave 0 classes and I only see her once in a while. If I do see her, I don't wanna go up to her and just say "Hey"when she doesn't even know me and has nothing to say back. The majority of my relationships have been with girls who I have at least 1 class with and I see daily. Nah mean?
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:42 PM    (permalink
Brent
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OSUGiants17 View Post
Alright, I know that, but like I said, we ave 0 classes and I only see her once in a while. If I do see her, I don't wanna go up to her and just say "Hey"when she doesn't even know me and has nothing to say back. The majority of my relationships have been with girls who I have at least 1 class with and I see daily. Nah mean?
"Hi, my name is ___________. I know _________, your older sister. So, what's up?"


there is your starter. if you can't carry a convo from there, I suggest you ditch.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:45 PM    (permalink
Cicero
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Originally Posted by OSUGiants17 View Post
Alright, I know that, but like I said, we ave 0 classes and I only see her once in a while. If I do see her, I don't wanna go up to her and just say "Hey"when she doesn't even know me and has nothing to say back. The majority of my relationships have been with girls who I have at least 1 class with and I see daily. Nah mean?
I don't know if it's the same at your school, but as a junior guy it was like a right of passage that you got to pick up all the hot freshman girls. High school girls always want to date older guys.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:47 PM    (permalink
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Thank you Brent. Next time I see her I will try that
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:49 PM    (permalink
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I don't know if it's the same at your school, but as a junior guy it was like a right of passage that you got to pick up all the hot freshman girls. High school girls always want to date older guys.
Hey, there are a ton of Frosh-Jr and Soph-Senior relationships in my school. I know th age difference will change things quite a bit
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Old 09-28-2010, 11:02 PM    (permalink
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Wrong thread, my bad
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Old 09-29-2010, 01:39 PM    (permalink
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I got engaged this past weekend. Been together for nearly 2 years. We have a kid together. I love her. I'm not a big fan of marriage (don't see the point) but she wanted it and I didn't see any point in not doing it because we are going to stay together. So yeah.
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Old 09-29-2010, 01:51 PM    (permalink
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I got engaged this past weekend. Been together for nearly 2 years. We have a kid together. I love her. I'm not a big fan of marriage (don't see the point) but she wanted it and I didn't see any point in not doing it because we are going to stay together. So yeah.
PREEEEEEEE-NUPPPPPPP
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Old 09-29-2010, 02:06 PM    (permalink
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Congrats, TT. Remember when you used to post in this thread all the time? That was more fun than now... haha
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