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Old 02-06-2009, 07:25 PM    (permalink
irishbucsfan
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I try. It's tough. I can only do my best, be honest, and admit to my mistakes. Thanks though.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:48 PM    (permalink
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I try. It's tough. I can only do my best, be honest, and admit to my mistakes. Thanks though.
No problem man just do what will make you happy
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:18 PM    (permalink
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I try. It's tough. I can only do my best, be honest, and admit to my mistakes. Thanks though.
How old are you? 22-23? If so, don't sweat it too much. College relationships rarely work out anyways. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? So many people getting married in their early 20s when they hardly know themselves, much less someone else.

I'm only 22, but I already know life doesn't ever get simpler. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I don't think its possible to have a simple life. If you live in a cave as a hermit, you have to deal with the loneliness that comes from humans being social animals, and you bucking that. Nothing in life will ever be simple, nor should it. But, then again, I am a jaded, cynical asshole. So take it for what its worth.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:41 PM    (permalink
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How old are you? 22-23? If so, don't sweat it too much. College relationships rarely work out anyways. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? So many people getting married in their early 20s when they hardly know themselves, much less someone else.

I'm only 22, but I already know life doesn't ever get simpler. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I don't think its possible to have a simple life. If you live in a cave as a hermit, you have to deal with the loneliness that comes from humans being social animals, and you bucking that. Nothing in life will ever be simple, nor should it. But, then again, I am a jaded, cynical asshole. So take it for what its worth.

I agree with you, I know life doesn't get simpler. I'm only 20, and I already find myself looking back wistfully. Which may bode badly. I am also a massive cynic, which a scientific mind who doesn't really believe in much other than what I can see and can be proven to me.

So you can imagine my shock, when I didn't really believe in soulmates and had a massive mental block on thinking about anything like marriage for the next decade at least, met someone and after some time it hit me that I thought they were actually 'the one'. It's ridiculous, I know. So young, so cynical. But the fact that I still thought that way almost strengthened it for me, because I was like hey, if I still think this despite the significant barriers that were in the way of me taking this seriously, then it must be pretty special.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:47 PM    (permalink
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I agree with you, I know life doesn't get simpler. I'm only 20, and I already find myself looking back wistfully. Which may bode badly. I am also a massive cynic, which a scientific mind who doesn't really believe in much other than what I can see and can be proven to me.

So you can imagine my shock, when I didn't really believe in soulmates and had a massive mental block on thinking about anything like marriage for the next decade at least, met someone and after some time it hit me that I thought they were actually 'the one'. It's ridiculous, I know. So young, so cynical. But the fact that I still thought that way almost strengthened it for me, because I was like hey, if I still think this despite the significant barriers that were in the way of me taking this seriously, then it must be pretty special.
I'm the same way, but all that means is that you will find someone again. There isn't a single "soulmate" for everyone. There are 250+million people in this country. There are thousands and thousands of women who could be your "soulmate" if met at the right time. No reason to look back wistfully, life only gets better from here, as long as you let it. As long as you do what makes you happy, and not what you are expected to do, life will only get better as it goes along.
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Old 02-06-2009, 09:05 PM    (permalink
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I'm the same way, but all that means is that you will find someone again. There isn't a single "soulmate" for everyone. There are 250+million people in this country. There are thousands and thousands of women who could be your "soulmate" if met at the right time. No reason to look back wistfully, life only gets better from here, as long as you let it. As long as you do what makes you happy, and not what you are expected to do, life will only get better as it goes along.

I dunno. It's impossible to see it that way when you're in the middle of those feelings. If you felt you could spend the rest of your life with someone, but a part of you said, but I bet there are other people I could spend the rest of my life with, it would be impossible not to reevaluate your feelings. A statement or view like that detracts from them a lot. Part of how crap it is right now is that I can see it slipping away while being overwhelmed at the potential.
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Old 02-06-2009, 09:15 PM    (permalink
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I'm the same way, but all that means is that you will find someone again. There isn't a single "soulmate" for everyone. There are 250+million people in this country. There are thousands and thousands of women who could be your "soulmate" if met at the right time. No reason to look back wistfully, life only gets better from here, as long as you let it. As long as you do what makes you happy, and not what you are expected to do, life will only get better as it goes along.
I dont agree with that. Now dont get me wrong im not saying theres not many girls a man can fall for but I belive there is only one girl made for each man. And some end up with that one and some lose out and will never find true love. Thats just my opinion but I dont belive many people find true love
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:38 AM    (permalink
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To be clear, it's complications I'm raging against. When two people love each other, it should get simpler. No ongoing sagas. Now, simpler doesn't mean easier. I know things get hard. The point is you want to share the hard times and the good times with someone. If they feel the same way, it's celebration time. I'm just sick of things getting in the way.
Instead of being a raging cynic here's what you do: take what you've learned and really make yourself a smarter person from it. I know common sense tells you that if two people love each other, things should get simpler. What you have to understand, is that at the age you're at a lot of us tend to fall in love with people we're not compatible with. And that's what makes things incredibly difficult and emotional. When you're 20 years old, each relationship you have has to come with the understanding that you both REALLY don't know what you like in the opposite sex. You're still trying to figure it out. Sure, have sex with them, date them, whatever works for you, but don't invest yourself totally into another person at such a young age. You have to find out what you are really looking for in the opposite sex and that takes years and years of dating to figure out.

Of course, every man hears this and it always falls on deaf ears. You have to go out there and get burned a few times before you can really get it. And some guys stay suckers their whole lives, falling "in love" with every girl willing to suck their dick.
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Old 02-07-2009, 09:55 AM    (permalink
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Instead of being a raging cynic here's what you do: take what you've learned and really make yourself a smarter person from it. I know common sense tells you that if two people love each other, things should get simpler. What you have to understand, is that at the age you're at a lot of us tend to fall in love with people we're not compatible with. And that's what makes things incredibly difficult and emotional. When you're 20 years old, each relationship you have has to come with the understanding that you both REALLY don't know what you like in the opposite sex. You're still trying to figure it out. Sure, have sex with them, date them, whatever works for you, but don't invest yourself totally into another person at such a young age. You have to find out what you are really looking for in the opposite sex and that takes years and years of dating to figure out.

Of course, every man hears this and it always falls on deaf ears. You have to go out there and get burned a few times before you can really get it. And some guys stay suckers their whole lives, falling "in love" with every girl willing to suck their dick.
Exactly, most young people have a lot of trouble differentiating love and sex. I know I used to.

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I dunno. It's impossible to see it that way when you're in the middle of those feelings. If you felt you could spend the rest of your life with someone, but a part of you said, but I bet there are other people I could spend the rest of my life with, it would be impossible not to reevaluate your feelings. A statement or view like that detracts from them a lot. Part of how crap it is right now is that I can see it slipping away while being overwhelmed at the potential.
You are 20 years old, every relationship you have will have a lot of potential, thats just the way it goes when you are young. I was "in love" once. I thought the girl was perfect for me. She sure as hell wasn't. But at the time, I couldn't see it. I was too caught up in the feelings I got from the sex. We were in no way compatible, but I thought we were meant for each other. The relationship wasn't easy at all, and it ended ugly. It ended up ******* me up for a couple years. Don't let that happen to you. Take this as a learning experience. It hurts like hell, but you will realize that this girl wasn't the end all be all of your world.
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Old 02-07-2009, 09:58 AM    (permalink
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Exactly, most young people have a lot of trouble differentiating love and sex. I know I used to.
that's why i advocate against children having sex until they're 22.

emotionally, for the most part. high schoolers can't handle it.
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Old 02-07-2009, 10:06 AM    (permalink
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that's why i advocate against children having sex until they're 22.

emotionally, for the most part. high schoolers can't handle it.
oops, misread your post. I thought you said have CHILDREN at 22. So I wrote a whole long post about how 22 year olds aren't remotely ready.

I disagree. If you delay it until you are older, you will just get those same feelings at a later age. I am incredibly happy I had sex while in high school. I am also grateful I got burned by the same girl. It is much better to have gotten burned at 18 then it is at 35 with two kids. It forced me to see people for who they are, not for who I wanted them to be. I haven't came close to being burned again, and I highly doubt I will. It has forced me to be very picky about girls I would consider dating.
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Old 02-07-2009, 10:12 AM    (permalink
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oops, misread your post. I thought you said have CHILDREN at 22. So I wrote a whole long post about how 22 year olds aren't remotely ready.

I disagree. If you delay it until you are older, you will just get those same feelings at a later age. I am incredibly happy I had sex while in high school. I am also grateful I got burned by the same girl. It is much better to have gotten burned at 18 then it is at 35 with two kids. It forced me to see people for who they are, not for who I wanted them to be. I haven't came close to being burned again, and I highly doubt I will. It has forced me to be very picky about girls I would consider dating.
She didnt say 22 before having kids, she said 22 before having sex:

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that's why i advocate against children having sex until they're 22.
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:57 PM    (permalink
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oops, misread your post. I thought you said have CHILDREN at 22. So I wrote a whole long post about how 22 year olds aren't remotely ready.

I disagree. If you delay it until you are older, you will just get those same feelings at a later age. I am incredibly happy I had sex while in high school. I am also grateful I got burned by the same girl. It is much better to have gotten burned at 18 then it is at 35 with two kids. It forced me to see people for who they are, not for who I wanted them to be. I haven't came close to being burned again, and I highly doubt I will. It has forced me to be very picky about girls I would consider dating.
Like I said, I think you and I are the same person.
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Old 02-07-2009, 03:32 PM    (permalink
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I think some mistakes are being made in equating someone's youth with their propensity to confuse physical stuff for love. I haven't even mentioned sex. I think it would be ridiculous to think you have a connection with someone and that you are very compatible just because the sex is awesome. I'm talking about the love comes from someone knowing you better than you know yourself and still trusting you and caring, and vice versa.
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Old 02-07-2009, 03:45 PM    (permalink
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I think some mistakes are being made in equating someone's youth with their propensity to confuse physical stuff for love. I haven't even mentioned sex. I think it would be ridiculous to think you have a connection with someone and that you are very compatible just because the sex is awesome. I'm talking about the love comes from someone knowing you better than you know yourself and still trusting you and caring, and vice versa.
That's what everybody thinks. Does what I say necessarily apply to your situation? No, but I would put big money that it does. It is less people's age and more peoples experience that causes them to equate sex and love.

You are twenty years old, you don't need to be in such a hurry to find your "true love." You don't even know yourself, much less other people. Do you even know what you want in a significant other? Do you even know what you want out of life? Relax and enjoy the ride, the journey is better than the ending.
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:44 PM    (permalink
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My girlfriend never got along with preps, and all her friends moved away to college, so she only had her friends who were boys.. and I didn't like the idea of her hanging with one of her friends (her ex) but I let her and they ended up cuddling...that was like 7 months ago (a few weeks into the relationship), so is it bad if I get jelous, or protective of her talking to other guys?

Considering I let my ex do it, and then she cheated on me..

I've been with this girl for 8 months now, and I love her to death, and I don't want heart broke, which I assume is why I get mad, well worked up when she texts other guys.. I'm naturally jelous, for what reason, I don't know.. I try not to be, but it happens.

Anyone else this way? Or know what to do to calm down about it?
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:48 PM    (permalink
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My girlfriend never got along with preps, and all her friends moved away to college, so she only had her friends who were boys.. and I didn't like the idea of her hanging with one of her friends (her ex) but I let her and they ended up cuddling...that was like 7 months ago (a few weeks into the relationship), so is it bad if I get jelous, or protective of her talking to other guys?

Considering I let my ex do it, and then she cheated on me..

I've been with this girl for 8 months now, and I love her to death, and I don't want heart broke, which I assume is why I get mad, well worked up when she texts other guys.. I'm naturally jelous, for what reason, I don't know.. I try not to be, but it happens.

Anyone else this way? Or know what to do to calm down about it?
Wow, your situation is pretty ****** my dude. Get out while you still can.
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:50 PM    (permalink
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Wow, your situation is pretty ****** my dude. Get out while you still can.
She hasn't done anything since then, and she's gotten alot better, she works at a resturant and these guys tipped 100% so she texted saying thank you, and then they wouldn't stop texting her, atleast now they did.

I told her, stop it or I'm gone.. So she stopped haha
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The Cadillac Three - Tennessee Mojo
http://youtu.be/N41DdVedXCo
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:56 PM    (permalink
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Wow, your situation is pretty ****** my dude. Get out while you still can.
Seconded, she sounds like she has the potential for monogamy problems.
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Old 02-07-2009, 04:58 PM    (permalink
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wow those guys are pathetic if they need to tip 100% to get girls to talk to them. haha
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Old 02-07-2009, 05:43 PM    (permalink
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She hasn't done anything since then, and she's gotten alot better, she works at a resturant and these guys tipped 100% so she texted saying thank you, and then they wouldn't stop texting her, atleast now they did.

I told her, stop it or I'm gone.. So she stopped haha
And how exactly did they get each others phone numbers?

Come on dude. Get your head out of the sand.
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Old 02-07-2009, 06:02 PM    (permalink
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And how exactly did they get each others phone numbers?

Come on dude. Get your head out of the sand.
I was going to ask the same thing. She gave our her number. I'm not sure there is long term relationship material there and even if there is, is she really who you want it to be with?

As for the other topic, I just got out of a serious relationship myself. I'm 26 and I thought she was the "one" too, but she's the second "one" I've had. It gets easier and it gets harder, if that makes sense. You just gotta push through it and learn something from every relationship otherwise you'll sit there and blame yourself for everything and never really grow.

It won't be easy and it won't be fun but you'll be a better person for it later. At least that's what I keep telling myself. We broke up about a month ago. ;)
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Old 02-07-2009, 07:01 PM    (permalink
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wow those guys are pathetic if they need to tip 100% to get girls to talk to them. haha
DG tips 400% for eye contact.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:26 AM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by HawkeyeFan View Post
My girlfriend never got along with preps, and all her friends moved away to college, so she only had her friends who were boys.. and I didn't like the idea of her hanging with one of her friends (her ex) but I let her and they ended up cuddling...that was like 7 months ago (a few weeks into the relationship), so is it bad if I get jelous, or protective of her talking to other guys?

Considering I let my ex do it, and then she cheated on me..

I've been with this girl for 8 months now, and I love her to death, and I don't want heart broke, which I assume is why I get mad, well worked up when she texts other guys.. I'm naturally jelous, for what reason, I don't know.. I try not to be, but it happens.

Anyone else this way? Or know what to do to calm down about it?
I would say you're in a situation where you're completely whipped, and your gf knows it. I can't say for sure if she feels the same, but the fact that she got the # of customers and bothered to text them to say "thank you" implies that she wasn't only interested in that. Perhaps she attempted to cheat with one or more of these guys, then the guy turned out to be a creep, so she told you. Or, she told you because she already had and wanted to come "clean" about it. I don't have a good feeling about this.

For instance, I had a really cute and fun waitress at lunch yesterday. I asked for her #, and she said that I was cute and funny, but she had a bf. She didn't take my # or give me hers. She was happy with her bf, and that's fine.

Point being: There's no reason for her to ever text a stranger if she's committed to you. If you can't trust her, you need to get out.
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Old 02-11-2009, 08:27 AM    (permalink
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With Valentine's Day rapidly approaching, I'm bumping the thread.
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