Relationship Advice Thread

[Raiderz4Life]

Turbo charge your car...might save you another 1-2hrs ;) lol

[njx9]

gotta love the out of the blue, 'it's just not working out' text. meh.

[bearsfan_51]

Tell her you gave her the herps.

[njx9]

'that condom? it wasn't a condom. it was aids.'

[Hines]

I ******* hate when girls break up with you over text.

[G-Mac]

Hey guys, I haven't posted in a while, but saw this thread and had to get this off my chest.

So, I worked with this girl for about a year and a half at a retail job. I was in college (just graduated last May) and she is in college (graduates next May). She worked womens department, I was in Mens dept. We worked together, as in at the same store, for about a full year, and I never really noticed her like "that." I mean, whenever the guys would talk about random things when we're bored, we would often play the "would you hit that" game. She came up once or twice, but not nearly as much as some other girls. Don't get me wrong, she is an attractive girl. She's a cute girl with a nice butt, but considering we lived in a party-heavy college town, she kinda just blended in. In a city full of 10's, she was a solid 8.

Anyways...

So, this last January, I noticed she was coming to my department a whole lot and talking to me. Even though me and several other guys noticed this, I still didn't make much of it. Then one day we were talking and she mentioned that me and my friends and her and her friends should hang out sometime. So I agreed, and a couple nights later, we met saw this live band at a bar and hung out and drank afterwards. She flirted pretty hard with me all night and I played against her in arcade basketball a few times (she destroyed me). That was the night I started to think hmmmmm, she's definitely a cute girl, why not give it a try? Well, nothing happened that night, I talked to her before she left more, hugged her, and she left.

About a half-hour later (say, 3am) she called again and wanted us to go with her and her friends to waffle house for some late night grub. Well, we had some of the herb stashed at the crib, so we politely declined and i told her that I'd see her in a few days at work.

I didn't text her the next day, which I think she expected me to.

The day after that, she texted me and said "so when are you gonna get your rematch?" That's when I kinda knew she was feeling me.

To make a long story short, we hung out that night again, had a few drinks, and I bed'd her that night for the first time. A couple nights later, I asked her out to the movies. A night later, she came over to watch the Super Bowl at my place with me, and after that, we pretty much made it official.

We dated for a good five months, and at first, I still wasn't feeling her too deeply. She was just another girl I was dating. But eventually, I gained feelings. Pretty hard. Even dropped the L bomb whenever we ended conversations.

Turning Point: She was on my computer on her FB page. Let me just prelude this by saying that I understand I was somewhat of in the wrong in this situation. But she got up and went to the bathroom. I was like...hmmm...well its my computer, so let me just take a quick peek. In her messages section, this dude was talking with her talking about how he wanted to "see" her again. Her response was, "not right now. i'm studying. grades are more important than sex."

Now, I ask you all. What the heck would you be thinking in this situation? Isn't it obvious?

I confronted her about it and she was fumbling with her words. Eventually, she admitted that she got real drunk and slept with him a few weeks before we started dating. I know this guy and let me say that he's a womanizer to the highest degree. And I told her this and its almost like she didnt know this and was mad at him. I'm like wtf, why are you acting jealous? Long story short, she prefusely apologized and said she never slept with him since then and has not cheated on me at all. She swore on her family. We ended up not breaking up.

Ever since then though, I always had that in the back of my head. She was trying really hard to gain my trust immediately after this happened, and I eventually gave in and we were good. But then, she just started to act different. Almost disinterested.

Me and her were gonna go to the beach one weekend, just me and her. Well, come to find out, she still talks with an ex bf of hers, and all of a sudden, instead of just me and her going, she wanted a group of us to go. Conveniently, she didnt make this decision until she found out the ex bf wanted to go.

Little things like this just made me very paranoid. I couldn't help it. But, honest to God, I loved her so I tried everything to make it work. She just constantly seemed disinterested and easily irritated. Then one night, she came over to my crib and broke it off with me. I asked her one final time if she ever cheated and she swore she didn't. But she also said she's been wanting to break it off for about a month now, which I found very messed up. If you dont wanna be with me, just end it and dont lead me on.

Well, she said she wanted to remain friends. I didnt give her a definitive answer to that, but she assumed that i said it was ok.

The same week we broke up, all of a sudden, I'm seeing her ex bf posting on her fb wall all the frickin time. How convenient that it began DAYS after we broke up. I didn't feel like dealing with that, so I decided I needed to move on and get her out of my life. I deleted her from fb, moreso for me not being tempted to see what she's up to rather than any sort of vindication.

When that happened, she blew up on me. Called me all sorts of names that I didnt think she would EVER call that guy who she supposedly once loved. Then, after two hours of me getting cussed out on the phone, she pleaded to be friends. I still told her i dont know.

That leads me to right now.

I still dont know. I want her in my life, but it would be waayyyy too painful to see her with another guy.

And to think, she was the one that initiated this whole relationship. Like I said, I never even really noticed her last year.

I'm just confused and a bit heartbroken.

congrats to anybody who got through this whole post.

[/ end rant]

[Caddy]

Originally Posted by G-Mac

Hey guys, I haven't posted in a while, but saw this thread and had to get this off my chest.

So, I worked with this girl for about a year and a half at a retail job. I was in college (just graduated last May) and she is in college (graduates next May). She worked womens department, I was in Mens dept. We worked together, as in at the same store, for about a full year, and I never really noticed her like "that." I mean, whenever the guys would talk about random things when we're bored, we would often play the "would you hit that" game. She came up once or twice, but not nearly as much as some other girls. Don't get me wrong, she is an attractive girl. She's a cute girl with a nice butt, but considering we lived in a party-heavy college town, she kinda just blended in. In a city full of 10's, she was a solid 8.

Anyways...

So, this last January, I noticed she was coming to my department a whole lot and talking to me. Even though me and several other guys noticed this, I still didn't make much of it. Then one day we were talking and she mentioned that me and my friends and her and her friends should hang out sometime. So I agreed, and a couple nights later, we met saw this live band at a bar and hung out and drank afterwards. She flirted pretty hard with me all night and I played against her in arcade basketball a few times (she destroyed me). That was the night I started to think hmmmmm, she's definitely a cute girl, why not give it a try? Well, nothing happened that night, I talked to her before she left more, hugged her, and she left.

About a half-hour later (say, 3am) she called again and wanted us to go with her and her friends to waffle house for some late night grub. Well, we had some of the herb stashed at the crib, so we politely declined and i told her that I'd see her in a few days at work.

I didn't text her the next day, which I think she expected me to.

The day after that, she texted me and said "so when are you gonna get your rematch?" That's when I kinda knew she was feeling me.

To make a long story short, we hung out that night again, had a few drinks, and I bed'd her that night for the first time. A couple nights later, I asked her out to the movies. A night later, she came over to watch the Super Bowl at my place with me, and after that, we pretty much made it official.

We dated for a good five months, and at first, I still wasn't feeling her too deeply. She was just another girl I was dating. But eventually, I gained feelings. Pretty hard. Even dropped the L bomb whenever we ended conversations.

Turning Point: She was on my computer on her FB page. Let me just prelude this by saying that I understand I was somewhat of in the wrong in this situation. But she got up and went to the bathroom. I was like...hmmm...well its my computer, so let me just take a quick peek. In her messages section, this dude was talking with her talking about how he wanted to "see" her again. Her response was, "not right now. i'm studying. grades are more important than sex."

Now, I ask you all. What the heck would you be thinking in this situation? Isn't it obvious?

I confronted her about it and she was fumbling with her words. Eventually, she admitted that she got real drunk and slept with him a few weeks before we started dating. I know this guy and let me say that he's a womanizer to the highest degree. And I told her this and its almost like she didnt know this and was mad at him. I'm like wtf, why are you acting jealous? Long story short, she prefusely apologized and said she never slept with him since then and has not cheated on me at all. She swore on her family. We ended up not breaking up.

Ever since then though, I always had that in the back of my head. She was trying really hard to gain my trust immediately after this happened, and I eventually gave in and we were good. But then, she just started to act different. Almost disinterested.

Me and her were gonna go to the beach one weekend, just me and her. Well, come to find out, she still talks with an ex bf of hers, and all of a sudden, instead of just me and her going, she wanted a group of us to go. Conveniently, she didnt make this decision until she found out the ex bf wanted to go.

Little things like this just made me very paranoid. I couldn't help it. But, honest to God, I loved her so I tried everything to make it work. She just constantly seemed disinterested and easily irritated. Then one night, she came over to my crib and broke it off with me. I asked her one final time if she ever cheated and she swore she didn't. But she also said she's been wanting to break it off for about a month now, which I found very messed up. If you dont wanna be with me, just end it and dont lead me on.

Well, she said she wanted to remain friends. I didnt give her a definitive answer to that, but she assumed that i said it was ok.

The same week we broke up, all of a sudden, I'm seeing her ex bf posting on her fb wall all the frickin time. How convenient that it began DAYS after we broke up. I didn't feel like dealing with that, so I decided I needed to move on and get her out of my life. I deleted her from fb, moreso for me not being tempted to see what she's up to rather than any sort of vindication.

When that happened, she blew up on me. Called me all sorts of names that I didnt think she would EVER call that guy who she supposedly once loved. Then, after two hours of me getting cussed out on the phone, she pleaded to be friends. I still told her i dont know.

That leads me to right now.

I still dont know. I want her in my life, but it would be waayyyy too painful to see her with another guy.

And to think, she was the one that initiated this whole relationship. Like I said, I never even really noticed her last year.

I'm just confused and a bit heartbroken.

congrats to anybody who got through this whole post.

[/ end rant]

I stopped reading at the bold.

But seriously, just move on. Pining over her is not a positive use of your time and I'm a firm believer in not bothering nor attempting to be friends post break up. Give it a month or two and you'll be feeling great!

[killxswitch]

You know what to do. You are just having a hard time letting go. It is over and you probably have plenty of friends. You don't need her and she doesn't want you. She just doesn't want to feel like a ***** and if you guys stay friends that helps her emotionally.

You shouldn't have stayed on the phone with her while she bitched at you. Just cut her off. It is hard I know. You need to find something else to do with your time.

[Malaka]

So I broke up with my girlfriend about a month and a half ago. Simply put, I just got bored of her; I never cheated, but it looked like I would eventually out of sheer lack of excitement. But I made sure we broke up to give her the respect of not doing that to her. Well, either way she hates my guts now, but I have come to accept that you can't be friends with your Exes because they all seem to despise me afterwards.

However, that is not what I need some advice on. Ever since breaking up with her I have had the most terrible luck with women. It's been about a month and a half and I have not even gotten close to doing anything with a woman. Now I don't expect to be getting them by the boatloads, and yeah a month is not that long... but the opportunities have been there I have just been in a huge hitting slump like 0-25 bad. Drunk, sober, whatever I have been struggling with girls.

Is it normal for this to happen after a break-up? I mean I don't even remember what happened after my last one. Am I so used to how my ex was and what she liked that I just project that on to other girls, and it fails me utterly? Or have angered the God of love or am suffering some horrific karmic retribution that i must say I don't think I deserve.

Or am I just over thinking everything? I have been telling myself to be patient, but it's running thin now; after another failure last night I am starting to feel incompetent.

Sorry for this hungover, long, and, maybe, a little incoherent rant. If you read please analyze my situation, I don't have anyone to turn to. I am usually the guy my friends turn to for this type of stuff lol.

[bearsfan_51]

Originally Posted by Malaka

So I broke up with my girlfriend about a month and a half ago. Simply put, I just got bored of her; I never cheated, but it looked like I would eventually out of sheer lack of excitement. But I made sure we broke up to give her the respect of not doing that to her. Well, either way she hates my guts now, but I have come to accept that you can't be friends with your Exes because they all seem to despise me afterwards.

However, that is not what I need some advice on. Ever since breaking up with her I have had the most terrible luck with women. It's been about a month and a half and I have not even gotten close to doing anything with a woman. Now I don't expect to be getting them by the boatloads, and yeah a month is not that long... but the opportunities have been there I have just been in a huge hitting slump like 0-25 bad. Drunk, sober, whatever I have been struggling with girls.

Is it normal for this to happen after a break-up? I mean I don't even remember what happened after my last one. Am I so used to how my ex was and what she liked that I just project that on to other girls, and it fails me utterly? Or have angered the God of love or am suffering some horrific karmic retribution that i must say I don't think I deserve.

Or am I just over thinking everything? I have been telling myself to be patient, but it's running thin now; after another failure last night I am starting to feel incompetent.

Yeah. If you're consistently getting laid and all of the sudden you have to work for it, it seems like you're not doing very well.

Stop thinking about it. It will put less pressure on you, and likely make you less awkward. And it will also make you seem like less of a desperate perv in the eyes of women. The worst way to get laid is to make it known you want to get laid.

[bearsfan_51]

Let Chris Rock explain, it's really required watching for every man.

[Malaka]

Hahahahaha, thank you for that bf_51, that was hilarious.

And yeah you are totally right, I had the misfortune of being alone with a girl last night in the wee hours of the morning talking to her trying to get closer, only for her to see a misplaced box of condoms lying around the living room where I was talking to her. That situation was so awkward, and I was almost immediately shut down.

I guess we men are just farmers. We plant seeds, and we tend to them so they can grow and produce us fruits to we can revel and enjoy for ourselves. Some of those plants give you delicious, sweet mangoes others wither bearing nothing but unfulfilled potential. Sometimes you can just have one plant and love it; sometimes you need more than one satisfy your hunger. And other times... you just have a drought and don't get ****, which is exactly what I am suffering through right now.

Hopefully, I make rain fall soon, would be a nice confidence booster haha.

[Caddy]

Chicks don't like Guidos Malaka. You might need to move to the Jersey Shore.

[georgiafan]

I recently hired a new receptionst who is smoking hot this is where yall remind how bad of ideal it is for me to be flirting/wanting to date her. We are both single and just 1 year diffrent in age.

[CashmoneyDrew]

It's only bad if you get sued. Otherwise, Bon appetit.

[Raiderz4Life]

Never good to mix work and sex imho. Can get real awkward and go downhill real fast.

Fire her and then you can hit it all the times you want.

[vikes_28]

Originally Posted by raiderz4life

Never good to mix work and sex imho. Can get real awkward and go downhill real fast.

Fire her and then you can hit it all the times you want.

I agree, you can't eat where you ****.

[georgiafan]

Originally Posted by CashmoneyDrew

It's only bad if you get sued. Otherwise, Bon appetit.

Originally Posted by raiderz4life

Never good to mix work and sex imho. Can get real awkward and go downhill real fast.

Fire her and then you can hit it all the times you want.

Originally Posted by vikes_28

I agree, you can't eat where you ****.

Had a intresting conversation with her today but first a little more background. Not only am i her boss my dad also owns the company. She has 3 kids so those thing combined means I cant really date her. But my gosh she is just so dang hot.

I was talking to her about a pic she posted on facebook with about 8 friends which all appeared to be pretty also and about hooking me up with one of them.

Me - So are any of them single?

Her - Yea most of them are

Her - I guess it wouldn't be a good ideal for u to date the help then

Me - Yea that would probley be a bad ideal

[MetSox17]

Idea* georgiafan, idea*

[georgiafan]

Originally Posted by MetSox17

Idea* georgiafan, idea*

you confused me lol

[MetSox17]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

you confused me lol

In your post you wrote "ideal" when i'm sure you meant "idea". There's a difference, lol.

Also, bang your receptionist. Absolutely no wrong can come from it.

/devilonyourshoulder

[bearsfan_51]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

Had a intresting conversation with her today but first a little more background. Not only am i her boss my dad also owns the company. She has 3 kids so those thing combined means I cant really date her. But my gosh she is just so dang hot.

I was talking to her about a pic she posted on facebook with about 8 friends which all appeared to be pretty also and about hooking me up with one of them.

Me - So are any of them single?

Her - Yea most of them are

Her - I guess it wouldn't be a good ideal for u to date the help then

Me - Yea that would probley be a bad ideal

Well that makes sense.

[Resonance]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

Me - So are any of them single?

Her - Yea most of them are

Her - I guess it wouldn't be a good ideal for u to date the help then

Me - Yea that would probley[sic] be a bad ideal

Not even sarf is capable of being this creepy.

[georgiafan]

Originally Posted by Resonance

Not even sarf is capable of being this creepy.

creepy...?

[Hines]

So it's official, my ex is the definition of a crazy *****.