Relationship Advice Thread

[49ersfan_87]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

explain your relationship more with her more and how do yall hang out?

Sure. I'll try to be as brief and succinct as possible

-Met in October in class...so its been 3 months now
-Have only been outside of class two times- both times working on assignments or studying for that class together
-Have run into her a few times in the library outside of that
-When its just us two she's usually open and receptive to the conversation- re-initating during a lull, asking questions, seems genuinely interested in what i have to say, etc.
-Whenever she's with her friend in class (a girl) or even when all 3 of us studied together one time, it seems like she ignores me and talks to her friend which is annoying as hell. Basically acts differently with her friend around, although its not mean, i just find it annoying.
-I have her phone number and facebook. Have talked a couple of times via text and fb convo but nothing deep

I tried to ask her out back in November actually. I texted her one day if she was on campus and she didn't respond. I was planning on getting a coffee with her and if things were going right, i would have asked her out. She didn't show up to class either and the next time i saw her she apologized for not responding. I didn't go deeper than that because she missed class as well (never missed one up to that point) so i figured she was busy.

Originally Posted by G-Mac

If she talks about "hot guys" around you or if she ever says that you're a really nice guy. Oh, and if there are constant "awkward silence" moments, you're screwed; if a girl likes you, she'll find something to keep the conversation moving.

Hmmm..covered part of it already where she will usually reinitiate if i run out of things to say. And she doesn't talk about other guys or call me nice. So far so good.

[georgiafan]

I don't think your in the official friend zone, but from what it sounds like she see's you as just someone she casual knows. If you like her then you need to make a move on her and find out. I would try to do it in person if thats possible. Girls can be real wish washy when it comes to texts and conversations on fb.

Originally Posted by 49ersfan_87

Sure. I'll try to be as brief and succinct as possible

-Met in October in class...so its been 3 months now
-Have only been outside of class two times- both times working on assignments or studying for that class together
-Have run into her a few times in the library outside of that
-When its just us two she's usually open and receptive to the conversation- re-initating during a lull, asking questions, seems genuinely interested in what i have to say, etc.
-Whenever she's with her friend in class (a girl) or even when all 3 of us studied together one time, it seems like she ignores me and talks to her friend which is annoying as hell. Basically acts differently with her friend around, although its not mean, i just find it annoying.
-I have her phone number and facebook. Have talked a couple of times via text and fb convo but nothing deep

I tried to ask her out back in November actually. I texted her one day if she was on campus and she didn't respond. I was planning on getting a coffee with her and if things were going right, i would have asked her out. She didn't show up to class either and the next time i saw her she apologized for not responding. I didn't go deeper than that because she missed class as well (never missed one up to that point) so i figured she was busy.



Hmmm..covered part of it already where she will usually reinitiate if i run out of things to say. And she doesn't talk about other guys or call me nice. So far so good.

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

I don't think your in the official friend zone, but from what it sounds like she see's you as just someone she casual knows. If you like her then you need to make a move on her and find out. I would try to do it in person if thats possible. Girls can be real wish washy when it comes to texts and conversations on fb.

Definitely do it in person. I'll be a puss about some things but asking a girl out you have to do in person (that is if you see her on a normal basis).

[Raiderz4Life]

Well, spent the whole day with my friend. She leaves back to school monday but I work and have school tomorrow thru monday so today was my last chance. Gonna miss her but I'll use from now til June when she comes back to do my thing and idk...get ready haha

[49ersfan_87]

Originally Posted by georgiafan

I don't think your in the official friend zone, but from what it sounds like she see's you as just someone she casual knows. If you like her then you need to make a move on her and find out. I would try to do it in person if thats possible. Girls can be real wish washy when it comes to texts and conversations on fb.

Yeah i figured something like that. Based on our conversations and how she acts, i feel like i have a 50/50 shot. I think it could go either way.

Originally Posted by kalbears13

Definitely do it in person. I'll be a puss about some things but asking a girl out you have to do in person (that is if you see her on a normal basis).

Oh yeah, i'll definitely do it in person. I was thinking of doing it over the phone on winter break but decided not to for 2 reasons

1- she lives on campus, and went home for the break. It's not that far away but i know she wanted to be with her family

2- I suck at talking on the phone, and i'm more natural in person, when you can react not only to verbal cues but body language as well.

[njx9]

bros, i need your feels.

i like this girl. i think she likes me back. the problem is that there are massive issues if she doesn't. like a bad reaction to that admission would be seriously friendship and maybe even career threatening.

strategies -

a - i like you, i hope you like me back.
b - do you like me?
c - **** all of this, i'll take enough morphine to not feel much of anything.

a sucks if the answer is no for various reasons that have little to do with me personally but have a lot to do with the Big Picture. b is pathetic and i'd rather not even remotely entertain it as an idea. c is viable but also pathetic for similar reasons.

give me your best shot, dc. i'll provide any necessary details.

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by njx9

bros, i need your feels.

i like this girl. i think she likes me back. the problem is that there are massive issues if she doesn't. like a bad reaction to that admission would be seriously friendship and maybe even career threatening.

strategies -

a - i like you, i hope you like me back.
b - do you like me?
c - **** all of this, i'll take enough morphine to not feel much of anything.

a sucks if the answer is no for various reasons that have little to do with me personally but have a lot to do with the Big Picture. b is pathetic and i'd rather not even remotely entertain it as an idea. c is viable but also pathetic for similar reasons.

give me your best shot, dc. i'll provide any necessary details.

They all sound pretty pathetic since a & b are the same thing basically. I'm guessing you're somewhat close to her and you hang out with her outside of work? If you actually want to go through the risk then be as blunt and forward as possible. Worse case you quit or transfer?

[njx9]

Originally Posted by kalbears13

They all sound pretty pathetic

yes, i agree.

i'll come back to the rest when i'm a bit more sober.

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by njx9

yes, i agree.

i'll come back to the rest when i'm a bit more sober.

What Would Sober Njx9 Do?

[Raiderz4Life]

Originally Posted by njx9

yes, i agree.

i'll come back to the rest when i'm a bit more sober.

Plenty of us have been there. Imma agree with Kal on this one...straight to the point would be my choice.

[Raiderz4Life]

Originally Posted by kalbears13

What Would Sober Njx9 Do?

Damn everything to hell??

[kalbears13]

Originally Posted by raiderz4life

Damn everything to hell??

SHOW HER ALL YOUR REPzzzzzz!!!

[njx9]

Originally Posted by kalbears13

What Would Sober Njx9 Do?

talk **** to tebow on the ping pong table. again. yeah.

[MetSox17]

Short of your name being Romeo and hers Juliet, no female is worth you risking your career.

But, let's make a little outline here. Worst case scenario and you are shot down, what is the likelihood of it having career threatening repercussions? If it's a big enough risk that you find yourself wondering, it's probably best that you let it play out a little further before you take any leaps of faith.

What kind of acts of faith do you have that would lead you to believe she likes you back?

Would your life be miserable and unhappy if you no longer had her as JUST a friend in your life? If the answer is no (which it damn well should be), then **** it, just come off a little stronger and see how she takes it. Ultimately your goal is to have her like you back, so if she doesn't, you can quit without stressing yourself any further.

My recommendation as of now, without hearing any other details about it, is to put yourselves in a more intimate atmosphere where you could really gauge whether she has a romantic interest in you or not. i.e dinner and a movie at your place/her place

If you see she's feeling it, show more physicality. Play with her hair, hold her or touch her as you laugh, direct eye contact, just things that normal "friends" don't do.

If she isn't, you give yourself the out of not having actually come out straight forward and confronted her about it, and besides, if you're in a vague area where you are still unsure, the last thing you want to do is make her feel pressured into making a decision on whether she wants to pursue it or not.

Hope that made some sense and it helped. More details would be great.

[TitansCJftw]

stick to the omnipotent advice of this thread

Originally Posted by TitansCJftw

I has learned a valuable life lesson when in doubt with female pull out *****-profit

from a couple pages back

[Raiderz4Life]

Originally Posted by TitansCJftw

stick to the omnipotent advice of this thread




from a couple pages back

Best advice i had gotten before coming here was...when in doubt just whip it out

[Nalej]

Originally Posted by raiderz4life

Best advice i had gotten before coming here was...when in doubt just whip it out

This works more times than it should.

[Prowler]

Women are idiots. There are different stages of women that make up about 90% of the girls you will encounter.

1. Naive girls who only respond to being dominated because they don't know what they want out of life/men. They will react favorably to anything you do provided you appear strong and confident about it. They react that way because they think of themselves as weak and lack confidence in themselves.

2. Women who have already gone through stage 1 and have already had 2 or 3 worthless guys. These chicks still respond favorably to strength and confidence, but you have to to be a worthwhile guy. This means strong financially and strong morally. They have already had the lazy video game cheating boyfriend and are ready for something else.

3. Those who have already gone through stages 1 and 2 and have said **** it because it still hasn't worked out. They will be serial daters and won't commit to anything. They are probably now slightly damaged in the head and won't trust you. You will need lots of money or will have to start your own dog rescue to gain their affection.

There are also about 10% that don't apply to these stages. They are the ones who will most likely be strippers and the kinds of chicks that sleep with most anyone. The "not wife-material" girls. Burn through these chicks until you find one of the 90% that meets your needs.

[RCAChainGang]

Can't believe I'm doing this again, but I'll give DC a shot again.

Context: We go to a Christian University, really a pretty boring city, worthwhile city 30 minutes away.

Story: She is a girl I initialy didn't think much of, but lately I have decided to pursue something. I have her number and we talk over text about every 3 days. (Trying not to come across desperate) 50% of our conversations is about Harry Potter because I just finished the books and she loves them. I'm planning to watch the movies with her and a group of her friends (guys & girls). We really aren't even that much of friends yet. More like borderline aquaintance that hopefully become friends this semester. I guess I would appreciate some good date ideas/lines I could use to get dating started. I don't know if I like her enough to be in a relationship I just want to get in the arena of dating.

Please just remember context ^ I'm looking for different things than most guys (Christian Morals).

Thanks guys. I hope you all enjoy the wildcard games this sunday.

[Prowler]

I think you will be fine speaking the truth with her. I wouldn't try and "frame it" to her by trying to define the nature of what you are doing. So don't bother bringing up the words date or relationship. They will only be confusing and a potential hazard. Just ask her to do whatever you want to do. "I'm looking for someone to go see Sherlock Holmes with. Would you like to go?" or whatever.

Nice simple statements and questions that clearly state what you want to do and avoid having to define it as a date or questions about the future. I think you got this. I like movies because they are a gateway. You can keep them at a distance and still see good movies at a theater. If it develops further than you can start viewing dvds in private and do the Christian PG rated makeout thing.

[Brent]

don't take her to a movie, you can't talk during a movie. chicks like conversation, take her to get coffee or something.

[Prowler]

boo...talking. i'd start slower by mastering the things that you don't talk during but like and can get used to being around each other.

bowling and eating are other main things at this time of year with what you are trying to do.

other than that you need a group of people. board games, drinking games, hanging out, whatever. which I guess has its own pros and cons in that you'll have competition but potentially more fish in the sea as well.

[nobodyinparticular]

Originally Posted by njx9

bros, i need your feels.

i like this girl. i think she likes me back. the problem is that there are massive issues if she doesn't. like a bad reaction to that admission would be seriously friendship and maybe even career threatening.

strategies -

a - i like you, i hope you like me back.
b - do you like me?
c - **** all of this, i'll take enough morphine to not feel much of anything.

a sucks if the answer is no for various reasons that have little to do with me personally but have a lot to do with the Big Picture. b is pathetic and i'd rather not even remotely entertain it as an idea. c is viable but also pathetic for similar reasons.

give me your best shot, dc. i'll provide any necessary details.

I'll say... modified A.

First start is great. Tell her how you feel. But don't leave it open ended with a "do you like me back?" or even vulnerable with "I hope you like me back."

Be forceful and commanding. "I like you. (period) Let's go out. (don't say sometime. You're going for forceful remember?) [Insert place here] on [insert day of week--within 3 days]. I'll pick you up at [insert time]."

[nobodyinparticular]

Originally Posted by RCAChainGang

Can't believe I'm doing this again, but I'll give DC a shot again.

Context: We go to a Christian University, really a pretty boring city, worthwhile city 30 minutes away.

Story: She is a girl I initialy didn't think much of, but lately I have decided to pursue something. I have her number and we talk over text about every 3 days. (Trying not to come across desperate) 50% of our conversations is about Harry Potter because I just finished the books and she loves them. I'm planning to watch the movies with her and a group of her friends (guys & girls). We really aren't even that much of friends yet. More like borderline aquaintance that hopefully become friends this semester. I guess I would appreciate some good date ideas/lines I could use to get dating started. I don't know if I like her enough to be in a relationship I just want to get in the arena of dating.

Please just remember context ^ I'm looking for different things than most guys (Christian Morals).

Thanks guys. I hope you all enjoy the wildcard games this sunday.

"Just finished the Harry Potter books. Wanna join me for a Harry Potter marathon? I'll bring some goodies."

Then as things progress, see what I told njx.

[Brent]

Originally Posted by nobodyinparticular

I'll say... modified A.

First start is great. Tell her how you feel. But don't leave it open ended with a "do you like me back?" or even vulnerable with "I hope you like me back."

Be forceful and commanding. "I like you. (period) Let's go out. (don't say sometime. You're going for forceful remember?) [Insert place here] on [insert day of week--within 3 days]. I'll pick you up at [insert time]."

I would even suggest the work week date. If you make plans on like a Tuesday or Wednesday, she might be wondering why you didn't ask for a weekend date. Well, **** that you are busy on the weekend. (even if you are just going to sit in your underwear and watch cartoons while drinking beers, you project that you are busy.)