Relationship Advice Thread - Page 377

pierce2walker · 02-11-2013, 03:49 AM

To each their own I suppose, but for me personally I don't see why hooking up with people and looking for something serious have to be mutually exclusive. I was actually in that exact situation when I met my current girlfriend who I have been dating for almost 2 years now. At the time I had a drunk hookup buddy (not all the time, but maybe once or twice a week) plus the occassional random hookup on nights out. But when I met my girlfriend and started hanging out with her regularly, things really clicked and I could tell she was pretty special so I became exclusive with her.

The mindset that has worked for me has been to be open to relationships, but at the same time not force anything if its not there. Just kind of take the situation as it comes rather than being set on one particular status.

Rosebud · 02-11-2013, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forenci

I mean, if you're looking for a serious relationship while still having a hook up buddy I think that's going to be an issue. You sort of have to make a choice. If you want a serious relationship you need to ditch the hook up buddy. If you don't, then stick with it.

I feel like it's impossible to want these two things at once.

This is just wrong. Having a **** buddy until you find someone who you might have a serious relationship makes it better, girls like guys that are getting laid, so if you're getting laid on the reg you're more likely to attract that girl you could get serious with when you find her.

Punisher · 02-11-2013, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

girls like guys that are getting laid

SuperPacker · 02-11-2013, 10:38 AM

I agree with a lot of what Forenci says. :/

Raiderz4Life · 02-11-2013, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperPacker

I agree with a lot of what Forenci says. :/

That's because you're 12.

SuperPacker · 02-11-2013, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raiderz4Life

That's because you're 12.

Raiderz, if you haven't smashed yet, pls go.

BuckeyeDan17 · 02-11-2013, 11:05 AM

I thought I could have both for a while. Then one day, my [now ex] girlfriend came over while I was in the shower, and went through my facebook messages because my dumbass left the page up.

she said she'd known something was up for a while and she felt she had every right to check it.

no more living double lives after that one.

Rob S · 02-11-2013, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuckeyeDan17

I thought I could have both for a while. Then one day, my [now ex] girlfriend came over while I was in the shower, and went through my facebook messages because my dumbass left the page up.

she said she'd known something was up for a while and she felt she had every right to check it.

no more living double lives after that one.

Cheating and having a **** buddy whilst looking for a relationship are two entirely different things.

Raiderz4Life · 02-11-2013, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperPacker

Raiderz, if you haven't smashed yet, pls go.

I could say the same to you.

SP go and don't come back til you at least touch a boob without going American Pie.

jrdrylie · 02-11-2013, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob S

Cheating and having a **** buddy whilst looking for a relationship are two entirely different things.

While they are different, having a chick who you know is an easy lay while looking for a serious relationship certainly doesn't help. Looking for a relationship is hard. You sometimes have to take it slow. You're going to have to spend some money. And you're probably going to have to date a few girls that you'll never see naked.

The girl on the side is a distraction. Sure she's fun, but she takes your eyes off the prize. I mean, why put all that time, money, and effort into a chick who may or may not work out when you can just call up the girl on the side and get some quick easy action?

pierce2walker · 02-11-2013, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

Eh, forcing it isn't a great strategy either. You have to keep in mind that a **** buddy is just a **** buddy, but you can still go out and get to know girls, even with a **** buddy. And with a lot of girls it doesn't take long to figure out that they're wrong for you, when you find one that doesn't smack you in the face with that, then you break up with the girl on the side.

This is pretty much exactly how I feel. Forcing it will just lead to a lot of situations that don't work out. Just because you have a **** buddy doesn't mean you can't meet new girls and do the same exact stuff you would do if you were just looking for a girlfriend. Once you find a girl that it really clicks with it shouldn't be hard to brush off the **** buddy so long as they really are just a **** buddy. The key is that if you can tell a **** buddy is getting feelings or attached (and you don't feel the same way) to drop it because that will just lead to a lot of drama that isn't worth the sex.

eaglesalltheway · 02-11-2013, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pierce2walker

The mindset that has worked for me has been to be open to relationships, but at the same time not force anything if its not there. Just kind of take the situation as it comes rather than being set on one particular status.

Everyone should take note. This is the only approach I've found works for me, and not just about women. Take it (women, work, friends, whatever) as it is, not as you want it to be or anything else, and you'll find it gets much easier.

BuckeyeDan17 · 02-11-2013, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob S

Cheating and having a **** buddy whilst looking for a relationship are two entirely different things.

I thought of it as seeking a better and more fun relationship while exiting a poor 'not serious' relationship thingy. I didn't recognize us as serious at the time.

Regardless, I'm not trying to justify myself. I know it was poor judgement or lack of morals (whatever you want to call it, straight asshole/scumbag status?)

I've learned to consider other people's feelings a bit more since then.

scottyboy · 02-11-2013, 02:31 PM

listen, i'm looking for a relationship, but when the night ends and i'm empty handed, what's wrong with having this booty call? We've been hanging out too much for my liking, but her roommate told me it's because she misses her ex and having someone. so i stuck my dick in crazy, but don't have a relationship with crazy. I'm not doing anything with her on valentine's day. not giving out any wrong hint. also, it's time with her i could be out meeting new girls. I don't see the problem here with what i'm doing at all

Raiderz4Life · 02-11-2013, 02:33 PM

Because there's not.

Just be careful crazy doesn't chop yo dick off while you sleep when you get a good girl.

jrdrylie · 02-11-2013, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottyboy

listen, i'm looking for a relationship, but when the night ends and i'm empty handed, what's wrong with having this booty call? We've been hanging out too much for my liking, but her roommate told me it's because she misses her ex and having someone. so i stuck my dick in crazy, but don't have a relationship with crazy. I'm not doing anything with her on valentine's day. not giving out any wrong hint. also, it's time with her i could be out meeting new girls. I don't see the problem here with what i'm doing at all

There are three potential issues with this that I see:

1. Are you really looking for a relationship? Because the fact that you have something to fall back on if the date doesn't go well is already setting yourself up for failure. It could cause you to half ass everything because no matter what, you have something to go home to.

2. I've never met a woman okay with being a booty call. Sure, they might go along with it for a while. but eventually, it either ends or she is going to want more. you obviously don't want more, so eventually, you're back at square one and you've wasted a lot of time.

3. Like R4L said, women are crazy. If you do end up finding a girl you want to get serious with, booy call girl might be pissed that you are cutting off the scotty loving.

SuperPacker · 02-11-2013, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottyboy

listen, i'm looking for a relationship, but when the night ends and i'm empty handed, what's wrong with having this booty call? We've been hanging out too much for my liking, but her roommate told me it's because she misses her ex and having someone. so i stuck my dick in crazy, but don't have a relationship with crazy. I'm not doing anything with her on valentine's day. not giving out any wrong hint. also, it's time with her i could be out meeting new girls. I don't see the problem here with what i'm doing at all

I wasn't saying I agree with a lot of what Forenci says because he said you was being douchey, it was more of just a general comment. The only kind of douchey thing I could get from what you first said was that you want to continue hooking up and for her not to like you. Not sure if you are actually planning on continuing, but if you think she's starting to want more, i'd say the right thing to do would be to get out of there before it gets worse and she establishes more feelings, or at least speak to her and make sure she knows.

scottyboy · 02-11-2013, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrdrylie

There are three potential issues with this that I see:

1. Are you really looking for a relationship? Because the fact that you have something to fall back on if the date doesn't go well is already setting yourself up for failure. It could cause you to half ass everything because no matter what, you have something to go home to.

2. I've never met a woman okay with being a booty call. Sure, they might go along with it for a while. but eventually, it either ends or she is going to want more. you obviously don't want more, so eventually, you're back at square one and you've wasted a lot of time.

3. Like R4L said, women are crazy. If you do end up finding a girl you want to get serious with, booy call girl might be pissed that you are cutting off the scotty loving.

Number one is my main issue, but when I go out, I'm looking for someone I actually like and connect with. this girl's far from my mind when i'm out. if the night ends poorly, i give her a call (or she calls me, and when i answer her calls, that's when i half-ass it or leave the bar early). I'm trying to lessen it and ease out of it eventually though so as to not lose anymore time or anything

Rosebud · 02-11-2013, 03:23 PM

I'm in a similar boat to scotty, been fooling around with this girl who it's been purely sexual with while talking with my ex again. Now that me and her are getting ready to see each other again, I'm breaking up with the **** buddy.

WCH · 02-11-2013, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raiderz4Life

Because there's not.

Just be careful crazy doesn't chop yo dick off while you sleep when you get a good girl.

I knew about John and Lorena Bobbitt, but I couldn't remember their names so I googled "cut off husbands dick." Holy ****, this is surprisingly common. Apparently in Thailand, there's even an "epidemic" of involuntary "penile amputations."

Rosebud · 02-11-2013, 03:33 PM

Thailand has an epidemic of all the crazy, not just of the dick chopping variety.

StickSkills · 02-11-2013, 03:40 PM

My ex-girlfriends roommate just told me that they're looking for a new roommate next year. I'm looking for a place to live next year. God that could be a good reality TV show if I did live with them.

SickwithIt1010 · 02-11-2013, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pierce2walker

This is pretty much exactly how I feel. Forcing it will just lead to a lot of situations that don't work out. Just because you have a **** buddy doesn't mean you can't meet new girls and do the same exact stuff you would do if you were just looking for a girlfriend. Once you find a girl that it really clicks with it shouldn't be hard to brush off the **** buddy so long as they really are just a **** buddy. The key is that if you can tell a **** buddy is getting feelings or attached (and you don't feel the same way) to drop it because that will just lead to a lot of drama that isn't worth the sex.

This **** is the truth. Couldn't have said it better myself....I agree with you too much, especially considering you dig on the bRUINS and the celtics.

pierce2walker · 02-11-2013, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SickwithIt1010

This **** is the truth. Couldn't have said it better myself....I agree with you too much, especially considering you dig on the bRUINS and the celtics.

Don't be mad about Thursday and NSD

. At least we agree about the Dodgers...and chicks apparently.

Forenci · 02-11-2013, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosebud

This is just wrong. Having a **** buddy until you find someone who you might have a serious relationship makes it better, girls like guys that are getting laid, so if you're getting laid on the reg you're more likely to attract that girl you could get serious with when you find her.

What a bunch of horse ****. I'm sorry but this is absurd and makes no sense whatsoever. I hope you're not being serious.