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Old 11-28-2013, 12:42 PM    (permalink
Raiderz4Life
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I tend to be pretty quick with my replies but I do have **** to do and sometimes I don't even feel my phone vibrate or something so it'll be a while before I reply....it is really annoying when someone blows up my phone asking why I haven't replied or "Helloooooooo!!"
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Old 11-28-2013, 12:57 PM    (permalink
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I tend to be pretty quick with my replies but I do have **** to do and sometimes I don't even feel my phone vibrate or something so it'll be a while before I reply....it is really annoying when someone blows up my phone asking why I haven't replied or "Helloooooooo!!"
It's a good way to figure out general level of insecurity. WHY ISN'T HE TEXTING MEEMEMEEE
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Old 11-28-2013, 01:34 PM    (permalink
Jensen
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a lot of times i open the text and then just forget to respond. when i don't feel like texting certain people that have iphones i just turn read receipts on so they know i'm ignoring them. some of the responses i get from girls are hilarious.
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Old 11-28-2013, 01:38 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes I even think I replied but I never actually did. Does that happen to anyone else?
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Old 11-28-2013, 01:55 PM    (permalink
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Sometimes I even think I replied but I never actual did. Does that happen to anyone else?
Yes. All the things mentioned happen to me. Think I replied but I didn't, read the text and forget to reply, don't feel my phone vibrate...etc. I think these things are pretty normal for us dudes.
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Old 11-28-2013, 02:20 PM    (permalink
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You don't even know. the girl I've been with for a past few months texts like ******* crazy. If I don't answer after a half hour she sends a ******* sad face emoji thing (not all the time but a decent amount of the time).

She is super sweet so it's hard to get pissed, but I'm a person that needs a certain amount of space -- probably more than average.
I'm sorry but you gotta put that **** to a hault. I had a girl I hung out with a few times that did **** like that and I told her "the texting every second of the day that we aren't together HAS to stop, if I don't text back right away I'm probably busy". Typically girls are understanding...but you gotta let her know if it annoys you even in the slightest.
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Old 12-13-2013, 08:57 PM    (permalink
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I've been dating a girl for about 5 months and everything has been going great. I'm typically not the kind of guy who gets into "official" relationships, but we instantly hit it off and our chemistry is just right. There was really no "feeling each other out" period to get comfortable with one another, it was just kinda there from the jump... there was the obvious initial physical attraction but what made it work so early was our personalities mesh and our humor is on the same wavelength. First couple months were a blur of laughing, fun and just overall really enjoying each other. It still is, but I'm just taken back with how quickly everything has advanced... and at the same time I'm not, because of how we feel about each other.

Here's the thing, and it's not necessarily a problem because it hasn't affected anything, but at some point it may. She's a little older than me with a masters living and working in Manhattan. I work in construction and just recently went back to school, will have my associates wrapped up in the Spring and have basically finished up the transfer process to eventually finish my BA. With working and doing school I still live home as it's just easier for me financially where I can save money while I can focus more on finishing the degree rather than hustle to make ends meet (I'm 24, which most my friends are still in that same boat).

She's recently asked me about what I think about marriage, kids, etc. and I understand that she's a little older and those things are on her mind, but I'm nowhere close to being ready for that. I definitely want to finish my schooling and get a little established within my career before I start thinking of that, and it's still a few years away. Her friends have kind of questioned her in private how she's ahead of me and why that doesn't matter to her, not that I, nor she, cares about what they think, but I'm just wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation in regards to dating an older girl, and any advice you may have.
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Old 12-14-2013, 03:29 AM    (permalink
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So over the past 3 months I have had a whole lot happen. After breaking up with my previous girlfriend because she kept talking to her ex, I had a long run of girls.

Girls:

#1- Probably too young for me, I'm about to graduate and she's a freshman and we are just in different parts of our lives. I do like the girl's personality but she seemed to be really into me real early and pushed a physical relationship to get an emotional relationship. I caught her talking to her mom about me on multiple occasions and it just seemed like a little too much early on so I abandoned. She's that girl who photographs real well but in person isn't as attractive, really bro-ish, was unfortunate but had to be done.

#2- I was kind of pushed into this by mutual friends, but I asked this girl out on a date and had a decent time, she seemed a little vacuous and sheltered although she was very attractive and curvy, I just didn't click with her and left it at that.

#3- This girl is my friend, is a butter face and has essentially been begging to have sex with me but I know that its just not a good idea at all because I don't do well mixing friendship and pleasure.

#4- Very very odd, goes to sleep at like 10 and wakes up at 4 o'clock and runs 11 miles, eats dinner at 4:30. She is a little annoying with her organization and how she believes she is better than other girls, although she seems to be really independent and goal-oriented. Only girl I have kept going back to, initiates kissing and wants to hang out all the time. Had breakfast with her parents and she talks to her parents all the time about me and everything, she is very open with them and they are cool but her mom is overbearing. I honestly do like this girl, and kissing her feels okay, I just don't want to. She told me to talk to my ex, get closure and figure things out. She is very understanding, and even though she seems really good for me, I just don't think she is the girl I'd like to date.

#5- This girl seems like more my type physically and personality, although she comes on really strongly and has a bad reputation as a *****. She invites me over to watch movies in her room. She saw me kissing another girl at a bar and got upset but seems pretty resilient. I think Im gunna see what she's about, give her some sort of chance.

$6- I met this girl at my friends 21st when we went bar hopping, my friends were in the bathroom and I saw this group of girls being awkward and specifically this one girl that looked like sammy sweetheart. I asked her if she could party boy my friend for a shot, and started doing it myself. We started up a conversation as did her friends and my friends, then I rotated to a different girl bc i was intoxicated, went back to dance with the first girl lol. We danced for awhile, but I hate but thumping because I didn't really get to talk to her or make a connection. I asked her for her number and then she texted herself, I kissed her on the cheek (bad move I know) and she asked me to text her if we were going to a night cap bar. I did (bad move I know) and then took advice from my friend and waited the three days before texting her again. The conversation was average and honestly i was keeping it alive, saw her at another bar the next week (which is a bar that they wouldn't normally go to) and she went to where I was from where she had been sitting with her friends all night and made eye contact w me. She went to the bathroom and didn't say goodbye, all of her friends left, it was late but she didn't say goodbye… So I guess I got ducked. i felt bad because I was intoxicated both times, and didn't understand the mixed signals that were mostly bad. Oh well

#7- So my roommates ex-girlfriend and I kissed when we both got drunk, I told him and apologized. I would do it again, but it wasn't something I really thought of before and actually wanted to happen. He ****** up and kept talking to other girls, saying he wanted to have sex w them and when they broke up it all came out as well as how he had actually had sex w one of them within days of their breakup. His ex is actually a good friend of mine, and she told me she's had feelings for me for over a year, and asked me if I would kiss her again and if we could hang out and visit over winter break. Her mom likes me because of how i have emotionally supported her, but I don't wanna be that guy so I am staying away for awhile if not forever. This girls is pretty attractive but really a dedicated girlfriend and cute and very sexual.

#8 this girl is so cool, she's pretty, but not as fit as all the other girls, but is athletic and really seems dedicated to people and doesn't care about having a guy although we have had a thing for awhile. I spent time with her family and really enjoyed myself. Though that she was the girl I liked most and just wanted to hang out with. I am going to see how I feel about her over break and hangout with her, seeing where it goes.

And so here is where the story gets a little more interesting….

So the night that I kissed my roommate's ex, we had a party and my other roommate who is still friends with my ex (so is my roommates ex who I kissed) and invited her to our party. When she got there I just interacted normally as if she was anyone else, helped that I was pretty drunk. So things were okay until she went into my room and kept telling my friend and her friends to get me to talk to her. For the most part we haven't really talked at all, she has texted me or Facebook chatted me until she unfriended me because she "couldn't bear seeing me with other girls" and then she seems to be holding onto me through our mutual friends. So I don't remember anything besides going into my room, taking off my clothes besides underwear and going into bed and telling her to leave and I didn't want to talk to her…and throwing up on my wall that my bed was up against to face away from her because i was stubborn…then blackout.

Apparently I yelled at her and told her I hated her and was dry heaving but didn't throw up much, I was sick with a sinus infection so it makes sense. She cleaned up everything along with my roommates ex and then girl #4 came and tried to help but got yelled at by my ex to leave because she was the girl that I had pictures with. While girl #5 had already been there and kept knocking on my door because she wanted to take me away from it all and take care of me.

Campus safety came and stopped the party, and my ex crawled into bed with me to avoid getting in trouble, then left to sleep in her friends house (she's a commuter).

I learned of all of this and texted her the next day and told her I wanted to apologize and that I would talk to her. She told my friend she was really happy I said that. Despite what I knew what would happen I went and talked to her.

I started off telling her all I wanted to say was I was sorry for yelling, thanked her for cleaning up, and that I couldn't be friends with her because of what she had done to disrespect me. She kept asking why and told me she wished she wasn't stupid and would've stopped and that she could've gotten over him earlier. She also said that she hated him, and knows for sure she doesn't want to be with him, but has only been not talking to him for about a month (its been 3), and then we deflected and had a catchup, normal good conversation that really got me to remember why I liked her so much. She told me about how her mom put some of my stuff that she thought she threw out on her wardrobe and I thought it was funny and ****** up for a mother to torment their child like that lol, but she kept saying stuff about how her family and friends love me and miss me and that her sister called her up drunk and said my name and said she was stupid and that she should really try to get me back. That kinda got me a little so I told her that I needed to go and do a project. She asked me if I would see her soon and i told her maybe and left.

She texted me and told me I forgot something, a shirt she found of mine (she still has like 5 of mine and her sister has a couple too). I told her it was okay and then she said my full name and that she would just bring it to my house, so I just went and got it. And then when I got there she said she wanted to ask a question, and before she could ask it i told her i knew it was for a hug. I gave her a hug a little reluctantly and then she took my car keys and was blocking me from leaving, hugging me and not letting me go. I picked her up and put her in a seat and then waited for the keys, but then she asked me to see her car (she had gotten into an accident and her car got totaled and i went to the ER to make sure she was okay) so I did. Then we just hung out and listened to music for a little, went back where we were and I got my keys back. She kept asking to see me soon, and I told her I needed to think and that it was too much for me right then. A thought came into my mind that that was where we had first met, and i told her and she started crying and hugged me and i knew i probably shouldn't have said it. Then she apologized, saying I was the best thing to ever happen to her, that she wished she had realized it and hadn't been so stupid, and that she tried dating other guys and her standards had been set so high because of me, and nothing felt okay. Also that she had been happy with her life since our breakup with the exception of it, that she wanted me back. She told me she really liked me, and that her mother told her that she really believes that we were meant to be. I told her that I would see her next semester, hugged her and left.

It really hit me bad, and I know that she knows how to press my buttons because she knew me so well, and yeah it could be a bad idea. But i noticed some change, i noticed she didn't talk about other peoples problems and focused on just having a conversation with purpose and then just checking in and having fun just goofing around, she was honest with me by telling me that she had stopped talking to her ex and that she had tried dating him and other guys but realized she didn't like them or have any desire to date them anymore, and finally saying she was sorry genuinely and not just resorting to crying. I don't know what to do, so many of these other girls haven't hurt me, and I don't know them well enough but I know I still have really strong feelings for my ex. I just don't know anymore.

My roommate's ex told me that she just wants me happy whether its my ex or not, but that if not she hopes that I will try with her.
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Old 12-14-2013, 06:40 AM    (permalink
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Is that Mah-kay-la or Mee-kah-ey-la?

Also...I need Christmas gift suggestions. I'm really blanking on this one.
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Old 12-14-2013, 06:52 AM    (permalink
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Your roommate's ex seems cool. Go with her. And to be honest, your ex still seems quite immature, texting you to come over "because you left something", taking your keys to stop you from leaving, etc. All manipulative behaviour disguised as flirting/innocence.

Side note - Is Ballin potentially as good looking as Jensen? Pics or GTFO.
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Old 12-14-2013, 08:03 AM    (permalink
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You know the old saying that you don't **** where you eat? That goes double for where you live. If you felt the need to apologize for making out with his ex-girlfriend and you feel like you should leave it alone for now, then you should follow that instinct. The world is filled with cool women, and you can obviously find one who won't potentially turn your living situation into a hell.

I'm actually in a similar (but worse) situation right now, and I'm just going to leave that puppy alone.

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Old 12-14-2013, 12:24 PM    (permalink
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Yea I absolutely know that my roommate's ex is off limits, I am graduating early but I will be in the area so its not to say it couldn't happen in the future.

Honestly, I think I just need to let the feelings settle/die for a month. All of these girls are nice, but I won't be able to evaluate anything with how I feel for my ex. I just really am fighting a losing battle against those feelings, I don't know if I am ready to not want my ex back.
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Old 12-14-2013, 02:04 PM    (permalink
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Yea I absolutely know that my roommate's ex is off limits, I am graduating early but I will be in the area so its not to say it couldn't happen in the future.

Honestly, I think I just need to let the feelings settle/die for a month. All of these girls are nice, but I won't be able to evaluate anything with how I feel for my ex. I just really am fighting a losing battle against those feelings, I don't know if I am ready to not want my ex back.
you're never gonna stop having feelings for her if you keep seeing her. you're only giving her false hope and subliminally settling your own needs you think you have. it looks like you have a nice list of potential suitors so stop dwelling on the "maybe she really has changed" and move on.

also i'm really curious as to how you still have feelings for your ex after 3 months of seeing other girls that don't seem bad and now somehow after just one month you think they'll be gone. is she your great white buffalo or something?
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Old 12-15-2013, 12:11 AM    (permalink
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you're never gonna stop having feelings for her if you keep seeing her. you're only giving her false hope and subliminally settling your own needs you think you have. it looks like you have a nice list of potential suitors so stop dwelling on the "maybe she really has changed" and move on.

also i'm really curious as to how you still have feelings for your ex after 3 months of seeing other girls that don't seem bad and now somehow after just one month you think they'll be gone. is she your great white buffalo or something?
I mean I avoided seeing her for three months, she did keep contacting me, and kept talking to my friends but for the most part I didn't see her except for maybe three accidental encounters where we both didn't talk to each other.

I don't know, before I talked to my ex I really thought I had a good grasp of life without her. The girl whose family I hung out with was the girl I really thought about dating seriously. I talked to my grandpa about it, and his words were that we both will always have feelings for each other. She was immature, and thats okay but theres no telling who I will wind up with. His final words about the subject were that you need luck and talent (essentially preparedness/how highly you measure as a man) to find that person that elevates your life.

So I know that she probably pushed my buttons moreso than being honest. You don't tell someone that you want to marry them in this situation. Its hard for me to expedite someone from my life that I really actually loved unconditionally, even when she was hurting me. Maybe she does deserve a second chance, but I do want to see whats out there if theres a girl out there that will wow me. Is it a bad idea to stay on good terms with my ex while doing that?
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:01 PM    (permalink
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So I've been texting my ex and a lot of these other girls, I think its good because it makes it less close or real because its through text. It allows me to say things without being emotionally swayed. That being said my ex has been real nice to me, saying that I am great, I calm her down, she missed my perspective, etc. And then she mentioned a bet we had before we broke up if the giants won that she'd have to wear an eli manning jersey and nothing else. I told her she didn't have to do it because they split, but she said she technically lost the bet once so if i wanted her to she would, but I deflected saying that she didn't have to do it, but then she said she wanted to. She added that she owes me and that its not like I'm a stranger and that she likes me. Then started talking about her fitness and how she wants to look bangin, and that she has an even better reason now that I'm going to see her. I am really feeling like this can be parlayed into sex, but is it a bad idea?

Update: yeah theres no way I wouldn't be able to not have sex with her...

On other fronts my roommates ex has been texting me a lot, but I like that she's come to terms that if anything were to happen it can't happen now because of how badly it would mess with all parties involved.

Weird girl that goes to sleep at like 10 and wakes up at 4 kind of annoyed me by messing with my heritage but quickly recovered by saying nice things, I am putting very little effort into talking to her though. I feel badly, but her lack of respect for other people, putting herself on a pedestal really bothers me.

The other girl I said I was going to hang out over break invited me to her house tomorrow, but idk if I'll kiss her, depends on how I feel about the situation.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:11 PM    (permalink
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Yes, dude, it is obviously a bad idea to have sex with an ex girlfriend that you obviously still have feelings for.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:32 PM    (permalink
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So I've been texting my ex and a lot of these other girls, I think its good because it makes it less close or real because its through text. It allows me to say things without being emotionally swayed. That being said my ex has been real nice to me, saying that I am great, I calm her down, she missed my perspective, etc. And then she mentioned a bet we had before we broke up if the giants won that she'd have to wear an eli manning jersey and nothing else. I told her she didn't have to do it because they split, but she said she technically lost the bet once so if i wanted her to she would, but I deflected saying that she didn't have to do it, but then she said she wanted to. She added that she owes me and that its not like I'm a stranger and that she likes me. Then started talking about her fitness and how she wants to look bangin, and that she has an even better reason now that I'm going to see her. I am really feeling like this can be parlayed into sex, but is it a bad idea?

Update: yeah theres no way I wouldn't be able to not have sex with her...

On other fronts my roommates ex has been texting me a lot, but I like that she's come to terms that if anything were to happen it can't happen now because of how badly it would mess with all parties involved.

Weird girl that goes to sleep at like 10 and wakes up at 4 kind of annoyed me by messing with my heritage but quickly recovered by saying nice things, I am putting very little effort into talking to her though. I feel badly, but her lack of respect for other people, putting herself on a pedestal really bothers me.

The other girl I said I was going to hang out over break invited me to her house tomorrow, but idk if I'll kiss her, depends on how I feel about the situation.
Yeah, bad bad idea. You are definitely going to get it on and you are definitely going to regret it.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:34 PM    (permalink
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You either need to stop talking to her or just take her back because it is clear you're never going to move on if everything stays as is....no way you can be friends with this woman.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:52 PM    (permalink
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Yeah, bad bad idea. You are definitely going to get it on and you are definitely going to regret it.
Consensus bad idea, but it's pretty much guaranteed he's going to get it on.
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JBalla is mormon, so naturally he assumes that whenever you get one marriage done, another two or five are in the works.

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Old 12-17-2013, 10:53 PM    (permalink
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Consensus bad idea, but it's pretty much guaranteed he's going to get it on.
And be back in a relationship. It's already done. He's taken the bait.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:09 PM    (permalink
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And be back in a relationship. It's already done. He's taken the bait.
It's pretty much over at this point.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:13 PM    (permalink
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Wanted to DTR before break. This girl I'm talking to said she really enjoys me and still wants to hang out but she works and is in a friend group with her ex that she had for 2 years. She isn't into him or anything but she just needs time to regroup.

I said that is fine and we can just be friends and she quickly responded "for now". She still wants to hang out with me one on one she just said she needs time to consider her situation.

I am new to relationships. I rarely have ever made it to commitment because I screw something up or the girl I finally find isn't into to me. Should I give up on this one? I was thinking I can still hang out with her in low pressure situations and work on our friendships to where she feels comfortable. I guess that is the friend zone route though right?

I don't know guys. Sounds like she still wants to toy with the idea of being together but wants to take a step back for now. It sucks but it helps me solidify how I feel too.

Overall any advice? How long should I hold out hope for this girl? Should I pursue others in the meantime? Feel free to pm me if you want. I just don't have much experience. This girl is different and I always have a great time but I might have just caught her at a bad time due to her past relationship.

Appreciate you guys.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:17 PM    (permalink
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I would still definitely hang out with her, but don't commit yourself mentally to this girl knowing she isn't ready for anything remotely serious yet. You know yourself better than anyone, if you can keep yourself from falling for this girl while still getting to know each other and hanging out, it doesn't hurt to still see her. And always talk to other girls. Don't ever pigeon hole yourself to one situation especially knowing full well it isn't gonna produce in the near future.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:17 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by RCAChainGang View Post
Wanted to DTR before break. This girl I'm talking to said she really enjoys me and still wants to hang out but she works and is in a friend group with her ex that she had for 2 years. She isn't into him or anything but she just needs time to regroup.

I said that is fine and we can just be friends and she quickly responded "for now". She still wants to hang out with me one on one she just said she needs time to consider her situation.

I am new to relationships. I rarely have ever made it to commitment because I screw something up or the girl I finally find isn't into to me. Should I give up on this one? I was thinking I can still hang out with her in low pressure situations and work on our friendships to where she feels comfortable. I guess that is the friend zone route though right?

I don't know guys. Sounds like she still wants to toy with the idea of being together but wants to take a step back for now. It sucks but it helps me solidify how I feel too.

Overall any advice? How long should I hold out hope for this girl? Should I pursue others in the meantime? Feel free to pm me if you want. I just don't have much experience. This girl is different and I always have a great time but I might have just caught her at a bad time due to her past relationship.

Appreciate you guys.
I dunno about the rest of that, but I am leery of any woman that hangs out on a regular basis with her ex. He's either *** or she still has feelings for him.
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Old 12-17-2013, 11:19 PM    (permalink
Rob S
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Yeah, man. Definitely pursue women while she is working thru whatever she has to. Don't put your life on hold for anyone. And don't even hang out with her if you can't help falling for her, because it is looking like friend zone.

If this is a recurring thing though, my advice would be to make your intentions clear earlier on....if you don't kiss a girl by the end of the 2nd date/ a girl won't let you kiss her by the second date, it generally bodes very poorly. In my/ my friends' experiences anyway.
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