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Old 05-22-2009, 03:08 PM    (permalink
Todd Bertuzzi
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Just keep it short and sweet and it'll go fine.
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Old 05-22-2009, 03:49 PM    (permalink
bored of education
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1. a lil funny story
2. a story showing his true love for his wife that you know of
3. serious part

that easy.
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Old 05-22-2009, 03:56 PM    (permalink
TheBuffaloBills
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Originally Posted by TheBuffaloBills View Post
Okay, so this is my script:

Hello, let me start off by saying all the ladies especially Michelle look beautiful tonight! I’m glad you all could come to celebrate this special day for George and Michelle.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the taller, more attractive brother of George…. And still single…..Ladies.

But in all seriousness, George you are the man. Ever since I was a little kid, I looked up to you. I tried to follow everything you did……Good and Bad. But as I got older, you and I became very close. You are my Brother, and my best friend. We share the same interests: Sports, Video games, and we both have a severe obsession with the Buffalo Bills. I am glad that we’re best buddies. I’ve spoke with many friends who say their older brother doesn’t talk to them, or that they hate each other. I am truly glad we have a great relationship together. If it wasn’t for you, I would not be the man that I am today.


Michelle, I knew you were the one when you two went to Anderson’s and got Ice Cream. When you two came back to the house, I ran to the door to greet you guys. You surprised me with a bowl of Ice Cream from Anderson’s. Even though the Ice cream was melted, it was the thought that counts. Just from that, I knew you were caring, and thoughtful….. Perfect for George. Not only that, you were able to withstand watching the first day of the 2006 and 2009 NFL draft. That’s 9 hours straight of Sports Talk. Not even some of the Biggest Bills fans can bear all that sports in one sitting. I give you a lot of credit for putting up with that.


Okay, Michelle I have been living with George my whole life, and there is two things you need to know about George when you move in with him:

1) If you see George sweating, and breathing heavily, it’s probably because he encountered a centipede or any other multi-legged bug.

2) When my Brother gets home from work, the first thing he does is run up to his room, strips his shirt and tie down to his undies and reads about anything he missed about the Bills from that day.


George and Michelle, the last piece of advice Grandpa gave to me was, “Life is what you make of it”. So have some fun, take care and look out for each other. Thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think that last piece of advice is good, because my Grandpa passed away last month. He always gave good advice, so I think it would mean a lot to him.
Is that too long?
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Old 05-22-2009, 03:57 PM    (permalink
SuperKevin
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So your only criteria for marriage is the ability to buy you ice cream?
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Old 05-22-2009, 04:09 PM    (permalink
TimD
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lol think of a different example.
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Old 05-22-2009, 04:26 PM    (permalink
TheBuffaloBills
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Originally Posted by SuperKevin View Post
So your only criteria for marriage is the ability to buy you ice cream?
Yeah, I gotta think of a better example.
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Old 05-22-2009, 04:27 PM    (permalink
Shane P. Hallam
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I like it TBB. You are a true comedian.
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:04 PM    (permalink
CJSchneider
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Apparently in TBB's neighborhood, the ice-cream truck plays "Here Comes the Bride"
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:09 PM    (permalink
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Say you slept with her, and then pull out a pair of panties from your back pocket...

No, I'm just kidding... DON'T DO THAT!!!!!!
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:12 PM    (permalink
kwilk103
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True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
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Old 05-22-2009, 05:17 PM    (permalink
Brent
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Originally Posted by kwilk103 View Post
True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
I forgot about that part. I need to see that again.
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Old 05-22-2009, 09:10 PM    (permalink
MetSox17
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i thought ur a comedian, how can you be afraid of talking in front of a lot of people :/
Did you know Mitch Hedberg always had stage fright?
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Old 05-22-2009, 10:45 PM    (permalink
wicket
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Couple of do's and donts (keep in mind I am drunk whilst typing this)
Do's
-Be funny
-Make clear how/why HE fell in love with her
-Appear slightly jealous of their love, even when it is fake

Dont's
-try and make it stand-up comedy, jokes are a part of it but not the goal
-mention exes of either
-do the speach as drunk as I am now
-try and empathise to much with the bride, you are the best man of the groom and not of the couple, you want to tell about his side of the story not her side
-mention that you did in fact tap the bride whilst your brother was dating her (even when it is true)
-Use any illustrative story that does not feature the bride and/or the groom. Really famous stories can be used as comparisons in some situations but thats the max of it.
-Use any form of bible scripture.
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Old 05-23-2009, 07:09 AM    (permalink
TheBuffaloBills
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Okay people, Final Draft:


Hello, let me start off by saying all the ladies especially Michelle look beautiful tonight! I’m glad you all could come to celebrate this special day for George and Michelle.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the taller, more attractive brother of George…. And still single…..Ladies.

But in all seriousness, George you are the man. Ever since I was a little kid, I looked up to you. I tried to follow everything you did……Good or Bad. But as I got older, you and I became very close. You are my Brother, and my best friend. We share the same interests: Sports, Video games, and we both have a severe obsession for the Buffalo Bills. I am glad that we’re best buddies. I’ve spoke with many friends who say their older brother doesn’t talk to them, or that they hate each other, but I am truly glad we have a great relationship together. If it wasn’t for you, I would not be the man that I am today.




Michelle, I am glad that we have a new member to add to the family. I have been thinking about it everyday for the past month. It’s a perfect fit. I couldn’t be more excited………. that T.O. is now apart of the Buffalo Bills family. I’m just kidding. But Michelle, you are kind, thoughtful, and you have a good sense of humor. You are everything that I could wish for in a Sister-in-law. You and George make each other happy, and I believe that is the most important quality to have. You two complete one another.

George, you should be very thankful that you found a girl like Michelle. She was able to withstand watching the first day of the 2006 and 2009 NFL draft. That’s 9 hours straight of Sports Talk. Not even some of the Biggest Bills fans can bear all that sports in one sitting. Michelle, I give you a lot of credit for putting up with that.


Alright, Michelle I have been living with George my whole life, and there is one thing you need to know about him since you’ll be living with him.

1) If you see George sweating, and breathing heavily, it’s probably because he encountered a centipede, or any other multi-legged bug. To be honest, I think he would rather have a burglar in the house than this half inch bug.


Okay, let me end off this speech with the last piece of advice Grandpa gave to me. He said, “Life is what you make of it”. So have some fun, take care and look out for one another. Thank you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. should I say T.O. or Terrell Owens? I think I'll say Terrell Owens.
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Old 05-23-2009, 07:48 AM    (permalink
Gay Ork Wang
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id leave out the michelle at first.

Quote:
I am glad that we have a new member to add to the family. I have been thinking about it everyday for the past month. It’s a perfect fit. I couldn’t be more excited………. that T.O. is now apart of the Buffalo Bills family.
that would suffice at first imo, everybody will think that you talk about her anyways
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:13 AM    (permalink
Beans
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<beans> libid dont worry man i think fondling big black men is a perfectly worthy career goal
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:18 AM    (permalink
TheBuffaloBills
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id leave out the michelle at first.


that would suffice at first imo, everybody will think that you talk about her anyways
That's a good idea. I will walk behind her, and have everyone under the impression that I'm talking about her.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:07 AM    (permalink
Brent
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P.S. should I say T.O. or Terrell Owens? I think I'll say Terrell Owens.
I'd say 'Terrell Owens'.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:56 AM    (permalink
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That bug thing is absolutely priceless! That should go over real well. Good luck man, to you and your brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:17 PM    (permalink
TheBuffaloBills
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The speech was awesome! I felt bad when I brought up to T.O. joke, because during the build up, my sister in law, kept sighing and smiling at me. I was like, should I do this or not. But I did it and it was a HUGE HIT! Thank you Drowe. 80 percent of the people there shaked my hand and said it was awesome. It was the perfect speech, because it was only a page, yet I made my bro cry, and had a few big laughs. Some laughs were so big that I had to pause, just to wait for the clapping and laughter to finish. P.S. During that whole day, my Bro only cried for my speech. He didn't even cry for when his wife walked down the isle. It was crazy, and I'm drunk.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:26 PM    (permalink
MetSox17
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The speech was awesome! I felt bad when I brought up to T.O. joke, because during the build up, my sister in law, kept sighing and smiling at me. I was like, should I do this or not. But I did it and it was a HUGE HIT! Thank you Drowe. 80 percent of the people there shaked my hand and said it was awesome. It was the perfect speech, because it was only a page, yet I made my bro cry, and had a few big laughs. Some laughs were so big that I had to pause, just to wait for the clapping and laughter to finish. P.S. During that whole day, my Bro only cried for my speech. He didn't even cry for when his wife walked down the isle. It was crazy, and I'm drunk.
Great job TBB, you know you did an awesome job when people come up to you and congratulate you on it. Hold it down!
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:26 PM    (permalink
SuperKevin
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The speech was awesome! I felt bad when I brought up to T.O. joke, because during the build up, my sister in law, kept sighing and smiling at me. I was like, should I do this or not. But I did it and it was a HUGE HIT! Thank you Drowe. 80 percent of the people there shaked my hand and said it was awesome. It was the perfect speech, because it was only a page, yet I made my bro cry, and had a few big laughs. Some laughs were so big that I had to pause, just to wait for the clapping and laughter to finish. P.S. During that whole day, my Bro only cried for my speech. He didn't even cry for when his wife walked down the isle. It was crazy, and I'm drunk.
If he wasn't able to cry when he saw his bride then I give the marriage 3 years tops before it ends in divorce
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:29 PM    (permalink
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If he wasn't able to cry when he saw his bride then I give the marriage 3 years tops before it ends in divorce
That's funny because he said he knew he was going to be a sobbing baby up on the alter. She was beautiful, but somehow he was able to hold it all in.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:42 PM    (permalink
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Oh and for the dance that the Bridal party does for the walk to the table, I did this dance, along with some Takeo Spikes dance. It was a huge hit. Bigtime. It was funy because it was coming from a small white kid.

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Old 05-23-2009, 11:56 PM    (permalink
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Hope your not like my friend and fart when you get nervous.. If so, crop dust as much as possible.
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