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Old 05-27-2009, 10:31 PM    (permalink) 
JT Jag
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I'm in the boonies in North Carolina right now. Over the course of the last three weeks I've been bitten by more mosquites, ticks and assassin bugs (oh my!) then I had the entirety of my life beforehand. FML
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:26 PM    (permalink) 
Hawk
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I dated an uggo. FML
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:41 PM    (permalink) 
RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
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I forgot all about the Barcelona vs Man U game today FML

I did not know the Orioles played an early game today and missed a 12-10 win. Not only did we win but Reimold hit a 3run walk off HR FML
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:43 PM    (permalink) 
A Perfect Score
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Someone in the Movie Discussion Thread said that the new Terminator movie was better then both T1 and T2 and proceeded to call them both "B-movies." FML
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:43 PM    (permalink) 
the decider13
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Originally Posted by RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES View Post
I forgot all about the Barcelona vs Man U game today FML

I did not know the Orioles played an early game today and missed a 12-10 win. Not only did we win but Reimold hit a 3run walk off HR FML
That is a lot to forget about...the Barca game was awesome. FYL
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:46 PM    (permalink) 
tjsunstein
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Went to a rememberance service today for someone that passed away. They said, "Thanks for coming." I replied with, "Anytime." FML.
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:54 PM    (permalink) 
RAVENS/WIZARDS/ORIOLES
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Originally Posted by the decider13 View Post
That is a lot to forget about...the Barca game was awesome. FYL
I started playing WII sports and since I just got the piece to play boxing me and my sisters boyfriend sat there for about 4 hours beating the **** out of people. It was fun because we created Manny Pacquiao. Then about 7 came around and I was thinking to myself "The game comes on soon" then bam the Barcelona vs Man U popped in my head and I was heated. Then I went to go see if there was an O's game on and it was already over. FML
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Old 05-28-2009, 03:27 AM    (permalink) 
Gay Ork Wang
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you've got to start your FML sentences with "Today," you noobs!
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Old 05-28-2009, 09:36 AM    (permalink) 
The Unseen
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you've got to start your FML sentences with "Today," you noobs!
Correct.

Such as: "Today, I typed 'that's why we American football.' Now I'm a ******* meme. FML."
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Old 05-28-2009, 09:52 AM    (permalink) 
drowe
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took a 7 hour road trip to western MN over memorial day weekend. to prep for this, i went to Wal Mart to get new tires (normally not a fan of the wal mart stores, but if ya buy tires there, they rotate them for free). anyway, the guy looked at my tires and said i didn't need new ones. i was surprised. it had been quite a while since i got tires. years. but, whatever. if a dude tells me NOT to give him money, i usually listen to him.

well, 2 days later, it's road trip time. i got 60 miles out of town and guess what happens...yup...rear driver's side tire blew out. first time that's ever happened to me. so, i pulled off the road and put the spare on. then drove to the next city and found a wal mart (i really do hate wal mart. but it was 6 pm on a friday of a holiday weekend and i was doubting a REAL tire place would be open). so, they put a real tire on and i was on my way....2 hours later.

then i got to stupid MN (worst state ever) and was on a stupid state highway where the speed limit inexplicably varied between 55 and 65. well, i was going 67 and got pulled over. and the ************* pig-******* waste of sperm game me a goddamn ticket. AND THE GOD DAMN SPEED LIMIT CHANGED BACK TO 65 ABOUT A MILE LATER.

so, got to MN at 1:30 and got my 1.5 year old daughter out of the seat and expected to lay her down...well, she woke up and realized she was somewhere new and just wanted to play. took forever to get her back to sleep.

worst. roadtrip. ever.
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Old 05-28-2009, 11:20 AM    (permalink) 
vikes_28
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isn't this kinda like the fail thread?
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Old 05-28-2009, 11:30 AM    (permalink) 
Brent
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worst. roadtrip. ever.
Discount Tire will rotate your tires for free if you buy from them, for future reference. Also, next time you kid gets like that: NyQuil. That'll do the trick.
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Old 05-28-2009, 11:47 AM    (permalink) 
AntoinCD
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I was playing a hurling match on Monday night and tore my hamstring

FML
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Old 05-28-2009, 11:50 AM    (permalink) 
SuperKevin
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Today, I let my roommates hyperactive kids watch Paul Blart Mall Cop and apparently its true. Nobody does win with a headbutt which I learned after one of the kids headbutted me in the groin causing me to reflexively lift my knee...directly into the kids face. I now have to pay the hospital bill for his broken nose. FML
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:08 PM    (permalink) 
eaglesalltheway
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Originally Posted by SuperKevin View Post
Today, I let my roommates hyperactive kids watch Paul Blart Mall Cop and apparently its true. Nobody does win with a headbutt which I learned after one of the kids headbutted me in the groin causing me to reflexively lift my knee...directly into the kids face. I now have to pay the hospital bill for his broken nose. FML
That is pretty awesome.

Today I fell down on the stairs while walking up them. FML.

But I didn't fall down to the bottom, just tripped...FTW!
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:20 PM    (permalink) 
HawkeyeFan
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I have an exam tomorrow and just started studying.


FML
You study?

Grow a pair!
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Old 05-28-2009, 12:28 PM    (permalink) 
619
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You're still in school. FYL
Some of us have to take a couple summer courses. It ain't too bad, if you take the right ones. I got two Sociology courses, and halfway done.
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Old 05-28-2009, 07:26 PM    (permalink) 
steelersfan43
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Originally Posted by SuperKevin View Post
Today, I let my roommates hyperactive kids watch Paul Blart Mall Cop and apparently its true. Nobody does win with a headbutt which I learned after one of the kids headbutted me in the groin causing me to reflexively lift my knee...directly into the kids face. I now have to pay the hospital bill for his broken nose. FML
Dont pay. Its the ****** kids own fault, teaches him a lesson not to ******* headbutt people, even if it was an accident.
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Old 05-28-2009, 07:36 PM    (permalink) 
stephenson86
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I'm on summer break with no school for 3 more months.

LML
ive been on summer break for a month and i have 4 more off and im going to wimbledon for free and egypt for free this summer so win
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:12 AM    (permalink) 
critesy
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i was doing this real hot girl and she was on top and then i thought i felt her drooling on my shoulder/chest so i let it slide for a bit but then it continued so i was like are you drooling on me?! and i felt it and it was blood and i got a bloody nose, she then proceeded to the door. FML.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:18 AM    (permalink) 
jayceheathman
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I read one horrible one on fmylife.com. The girl said she was getting a tattoo of her boyfriend's name and he even offerred to pay for it. The second it was finished and she looked in the mirror the boyfriend broke up with her and left.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:22 AM    (permalink) 
the decider13
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i was doing this real hot girl and she was on top and then i thought i felt her drooling on my shoulder/chest so i let it slide for a bit but then it continued so i was like are you drooling on me?! and i felt it and it was blood and i got a bloody nose, she then proceeded to the door. FML.
you win the thread
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i wish NFLDC had something like "wall to wall" where we could see Brodeur and Job's conversations.
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NFLDC would be jizzing itself non-stop.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:58 AM    (permalink) 
ChezPower4
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Originally Posted by jayceheathman View Post
I read one horrible one on fmylife.com. The girl said she was getting a tattoo of her boyfriend's name and he even offerred to pay for it. The second it was finished and she looked in the mirror the boyfriend broke up with her and left.
That just made my day!!!!

I would like to shake that man's hand
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