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Old 06-28-2011, 07:30 PM    (permalink
ToldLikeItIs
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Default Sketch comedy my Buds and I made, OFFICE GUYS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e03SnsHJ8h0

Hope ya'll dig!
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:30 PM    (permalink
Vikes99ej
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Looked like a Workaholics rip-off, closed :20 in
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:49 PM    (permalink
diabsoule
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Just watched close to two minutes of it and here's some constructive criticism, if I may.

The production value was top notch. It really looked like a show that you would see on television. The acting was also nicely done and it did seem like just a couple of guys sitting around, drinking some beers, dishing on cubicle life.

However, the jokes, for me, fell flat. It seemed just like a re-hash of material that you would find on a Comedy Central or FX sitcom. It just lacked a certain amount of originality. If the writing can be tightened up and directed on the more whimsical side of office work then, I feel, you could have yourself something special.

Conversations about boning and how to bone the office hottie can only go so far, and for me, that's not very far at all. I would focus more on an Office Space style of humor. Cubicle life blows. Working in a corporate environment, for the most part, also blows. Make jokes about how much it sucks. How there's a creepy guy in the office that continues to creep on a chick he was rejected by. Or the grizzled, cynical office worker who can retire but keeps working yet all he does is ***** about how much his job is lame. Or even the guy that plays WoW in his cubicle when the boss isn't around. Or the guy that is frustrated with life because after graduating from college all he can find is crappy cubicle work and keeps getting rejected by job after job.

Those are just a few ideas. I think you guys could really make something special but I think the direction that would fit you best is to try to find your own niche. Do something that catches people's attention. There's small things that happen in day-to-day life that are odd or unique or that aggravate the crap out of you. Write about that because it's funny and people can relate to it.
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Old 06-28-2011, 11:53 PM    (permalink
StripedWalrus
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4 guys sitting around talking about being ***. Where is the comedy in this?
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Old 06-29-2011, 12:03 AM    (permalink
Cigaro
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I thought the twist at the end was actually decent, but at no point did I actually laugh. You basically just filmed a conversation about sex between a group of guys, and then let out that they were *** at the end. I can't even say there were bad jokes, as I literally couldn't pick up on pretty much anything that I thought was meant to be funny.
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Old 06-29-2011, 05:46 AM    (permalink
General Zod
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I liked your Adjustment Bureau spoof a lot better.
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Old 06-29-2011, 09:24 AM    (permalink
TACKLE
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the lack of blatant, uncontrolled iowa homerism in this video is troubling.
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Old 06-29-2011, 10:59 AM    (permalink
JoeJoeBrown
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Don't take this personally. I know how much it sucks to hear criticism of your work.
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Very boring concept. Not funny, just kinda crude. Very awkward and uncomfortable to watch.

Nice camera work and editing.
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