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Old 01-20-2012, 01:38 AM    (permalink
PoopSandwich
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Default Who would be the best fictional football player ever?

This is just a hypothetical situation, I am drunk as **** and was wondering who the best hypothetical football player would be. I am in a debate with myself.
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:40 AM    (permalink
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Obviously Superman
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:41 AM    (permalink
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Default

I just got done making a ten option poll for this and now it doesn't work.

I want to cry in a corner.
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:44 AM    (permalink
robert pancake gallery
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fausto carmona is the best hypothetical person, so there's that
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:44 AM    (permalink
PoopSandwich
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robert pancake gallery View Post
fausto carmona is the best hypothetical person, so there's that
What about chief wahoo?
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 01:46 AM    (permalink
robert pancake gallery
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinslowBodden View Post
What about chief wahoo?
chief wahoo doesn't have a nervous breakdown every time there's someone on base.

chief wahoo also actually exists.

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Old 01-20-2012, 02:03 AM    (permalink
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Default

My opinion would be Thud Butt from Hook honestly, he could just fatty ass roll over the offensive line and tackle anyone. Not even Tebow could escape the somersault of that fat ass.
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:20 AM    (permalink
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Default

Danny Bateman from The Replacements

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Old 01-20-2012, 02:27 AM    (permalink
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Default

Tim Tebow.
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:32 AM    (permalink
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fenikz View Post
Tim Tebow.
That was one of my options, sadly this ******* poll did not register and I want to cry.
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:34 AM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dynasty View Post
Danny Bateman from The Replacements

i change my vote to patrick bateman.
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:35 AM    (permalink
PoopSandwich
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by robert pancake gallery View Post
i change my vote to patrick bateman.


HIP TO BE SQUARE
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"If something happens, and it's the Cleveland Browns, I'm going to pour my heart out for the Dawg Pound and try to win a Super Bowl for Cleveland," he said. "I don't care if they've had 20 starting quarterbacks since 1999. I'm going to be the 21st and the guy that brought them the Super Bowl." - JFF
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Old 01-20-2012, 03:45 AM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xonraider View Post
Obviously Superman
No kidding.

Leaping tall buildings in a single bound? Hand it off to him, he jumps the entire field and scores a TD. And by proxy, he would dunk the football over the goalpost which would somehow register as a TD and a FG on the same play, even though no one knows how. Plus I don't see a hail mary getting past him.
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Old 01-20-2012, 03:46 AM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fenikz View Post
Tim Tebow.
Yes the fictional Tim Tebow would be amazing...

unfortunately for Broncos fans, the actual Tebow is hardly comparable.
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Old 01-20-2012, 04:35 AM    (permalink
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Superman obviously wins, but I think that The Flash would be almost as great. Obviously, Superman would be better at catching jump balls, blocking kicks, and intercepting passes (not to mention that if his team somehow lost, he could just fly around the world really fast and turn time back). But The Flash would match him in terms of being able to score every time you handed off to him, and being able pick off the snap if the other team tried to play out of a shotgun.

Also, The Flash has a slightly better 40 time, so we know who Al Davis would have favored.

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Old 01-20-2012, 04:36 AM    (permalink
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it's obviously nightcrawler.
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Old 01-20-2012, 04:56 AM    (permalink
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When talking fictional characters Superman will win pretty much any hypothetical debate because those bastards at DC Comics made a being that can't be beaten unless subjected to Kryptonite(which is very rare and hard to come by) and Batman.
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Old 01-20-2012, 05:45 AM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinslowBodden View Post
That was one of my options, sadly this ******* poll did not register and I want to cry.
Ok, you're awesome. I'm so + repping the **** out of you. This thread rules.

My obvious answer for the day would be God. Which of course still leads back down the same path that any discussion in this thread inevitably will... Tebow.

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Willis is a beast without labels.
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Old 01-20-2012, 05:59 AM    (permalink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ngatachance92 View Post
When talking fictional characters Superman will win pretty much any hypothetical debate because those bastards at DC Comics made a being that can't be beaten unless subjected to Kryptonite(which is very rare and hard to come by) and Batman.
No. This beautiful idea must not devolve into the age old argument of which Super Hero is more bad ass.

Anyway, everybody knows The Hulk would take a massive dump all over Super Man's "underwear on the outside" ass.

Wait... damn... see what you made me do?
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Willis is a beast without labels.
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Old 01-20-2012, 06:07 AM    (permalink
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Time fr another super hero football draft?
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Old 01-20-2012, 08:44 AM    (permalink
brat316
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hypnotoad

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Old 01-20-2012, 08:50 AM    (permalink
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hypnotoad

I really doubt he- ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD.
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i done stole dis sig
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Old 01-20-2012, 09:08 AM    (permalink
Gay Ork Wang
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OSUGiants17 View Post
Time fr another super hero football draft?
Nightcrawler beasted for me so hard.
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Old 01-20-2012, 09:17 AM    (permalink
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Goku>Superman.
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fwiw, i amz deunks ofs myt ass. ilo vez drinmoinz befotre i post. wha t a hreat ideas.z.
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Old 01-20-2012, 09:37 AM    (permalink
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Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.Splat is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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