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Old 12-10-2013, 11:17 PM    (permalink
JeffSamardzijaIRISH
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JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.JeffSamardzijaIRISH is kind of a big deal around here, people know him.
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This guy is a Klaus imposter. Klaus is a leader of proles while this guy can only dream of leading his dog to the food bowl. I will wait for the real Klaus list to come out, not this fake list.
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:23 PM    (permalink
Bulldogs
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Glad I didn't miss this. 9/10, would read again.
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:45 PM    (permalink
gpngc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by INFINITE CONSCIOUSNESS View Post
To my esteemed gentlemen!

Allow me to introduce myself, although my own being is of no importance.

My Christian name is as follows and listen closely young steeds, as I speak with thunder:

I be Ricardo Armando Patiño Aroca and I am the former foreign ministor of La Republica del Ecuadorrrrrrrrrrrr!

Some of you may remember a grand old man with the Christian name Klaus. Oh, what a grand man he be, the lord of the manor since 1313 he be!

Unfortunately, due to various Roman web forum rules, Klaus is unable to paint his brain. Hence, Klaus says to me:

"please sir, go to the computer at the Ecuadorian foreign ministry and forward this communique to some men who may find it of interest."

Ergo, to those men who may find the following of interest!

Best regards,
Ricardo Armando Patiño Aroca


RUDIMENTARY CONTRIBUTIONS TO A PROSPECTIVE KLAUS LIST


As I sit on my astrothrone, I watch galaxies unfold. Nebulae curl around interstellar dust. Space-time is the fabric of a deft weaver-man.

Look! An ionized gas caresses with an element of helium.

Behold! Ultraviolet radiation initiates the blackest of gravitional collapses.

From my astrothrone, I see the conception of new worlds.


Herald! Procure me quill and parchment - I have thoughts to inscribe into eternity.


QUARTERS -

Blake Bortles.

The name raises immediate concerns. The KLAUS list has not seen such an abomination since Glaine Babbert and look where that ice cream tester ended up - in the trashbin of history, as the KLAUS list anticipated.

The KLAUS list first became aware of one Bortles from the accolades posted by various losers on various web forums. Once again, the forum losers show why they be such.

is level where thesOn the things happen and go in the way of this world, the way in which this world is happening on this level are occurring according to newtonian physics and this means a straightforward framework, you dig? Gentlemen, its as obvious as the first act a sailor will execute when returning to port: This Bortles character throws the eliptical ball like a ******* shot putter. One Blork seems to think he is a little punt-punt man, where so-called hang time is decisive. It didn't work for Peter Tom Willis, it won't work for you Blork Borltes.

Derek Carr.

His brother was a coward and that bears immediate woes. The coward gene has not appeared to have bypassed this variation of the Carr organism. Carr moves with a constant anticipative cringe in regard to any potential physical commerce. Some fool organ will take this coward in the first phase and then be unemployed in a few years. So be it. The KLAUS list will not open a single tear duct for their absolute folly.

Teddy Bridgewater.

Linear movements, like some variant of a robot. This would not be problematic if this were an intelligent robot. A series of fatuous decisions, interrupted by the occasional inane farce.

The KLAUS list understands why this man has received acclaim by the less intelligent in the profession: Teddywater listens to what his superiors tell him, and prosecutes accordingly. Yet this is accomplished without any consideration of context; it is performed without any sense of creativity. Verdict: the trashbin of history.

Johnny Manziel*

To quote the young De Niro in Taxi Driver: and suddenly, there is change. The KLAUS list initially approached the Manziel footage on SPECTREVISION with hesitation: media prominence is disproportional to essential quality. Manziel violates this rule, at once explaning why much of the presentations of his personnage in this same media are negative.

Unlike his coward elder brother whose only premier league championship is the result of confronting in the grand final a unit led by the odious Lovie Smith (!!!), Eli Manning has mesmerized the KLAUS list for years with his absolute stoic grace in the most decisive of moments. Those are the only moments that mean anything: forget the mundane, the quotidian, the everyday. Forget Peyton Manning going 15-1 every year against Gus "The Wrestler" Bradley and other idiots of this world, only to drink ocean bottom in the first phase of the elimination round.

Manziel is a more flexible version of the eternally young Eli organism. The antithesis of faintheartedness synthesized to an intuition as clear as the light of the sun. "Everything under the heavens is in total chaos, the situation is perfect": So said Chairman Mao, and Manziel, like all grand men of history, confronted with the vortex of the astrothrone, would subscribe to this same statement. Hard drinking and hard living means one who is not afraid of life nor death. One Manziel: the highest possible endorsement from the KLAUS list.


*Apparently, of Lebanese descent, along the lines of Flutie, Elway and others. Someone should compose a tome about the mysterious Lebanon-American football link. What be your secrets, Land of the Cedar?
I love KLAUS too. He's successfully predicted a lot of busts. I think he picked Luck to bust too though. A detailed look at his track record would be interested.

Bold are my favorite parts.
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:43 PM    (permalink
MadameBernard
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MadameBernard hopes to escalate quickly but not get out of hand.
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L'étudiant
L'étudiant cherche, cherche
Cherche à savoir
Où il va, comment y arriver
Mais surtout pourquoi

Alors, à l'aurore, lentement, il s'éveille
Tuant le sommeil à coup de café
Les quatres groupes manquant à l'appel
Bien qu'il en connaisse la fatalité

Le temps d'enfiler ses hardes
Et d'empoigner son boulet
Il s'envole, sans qu'il ne tarde
Vers son banc désuet

Que de souffrance il subit
À se payer tant de mots
Dans son cerveau introduit
Comme de l'eau dans un sceau

S.V.P. cher professeur
Pourriez-vous m'aider à apprendre
Plutôt que de me lever le coeur
Sur ce sujet que je désirais comprendre

De longues heures de travail
S'empilent dans son agenda
Malheureusement à un point tel
Qu'au découragement il succomba

Il demanda aussitôt à un ami
De l'aider à gravir
Ce mur dressé devant lui
Car chercher il veut finir

La journée vieillisant
Un dilemme se présenta
Se joindre aux amis festoyants
Ou construire de bons résultats

L'étudiant cherche, cherche
Cherche à savoir
Où il va, comment y arriver
Mais surtout, pourquo
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Old 12-11-2013, 07:56 PM    (permalink
Job Reborn
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Why the crappy poetry, and why in French, and why here?
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